My Kind Of Love
by scared of clouds
Summary: James and Lily are out of Hogwarts and engaged; add in the Order of the Phoenix, complicated friendships and deranged Death Eaters, and things can only get more difficult from here. Sequel to "Turning Tables", and as close to canon as anything I write ever gets. Cover art by anxiouspineapples.
1. The Consequences of Questions Asked

**********A/N: Okay, so first chapter of the sequel to Turning Tables. I'll be honest, I'm nervous. So many of you were so kind about TT that I'm worried this will turn into a major disappointment for you, but I promise to do my best by it!  
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**********Any new readers, you will probably want to read Turning Tables first, otherwise you might be confused by one or two references and a couple of OCs (not many, but still). So go read then come back and join us!**

**********We're starting off slow, with some fluff and a little angst. I'm hoping for weekly updates, but there's every chance it will end up being fortnightly since I anticipate slightly longer chapters than in TT. **

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'Lily.'

She mumbled and turned over, burying her face in her pillow. There was the sound of masculine laughter, and then a pair of lips pressed themselves to the patch of exposed skin just below her hairline behind her left ear.

'I'm sorry to wake you love, but it_ is_ half past nine.'

A warm hand slid round her to rest on her stomach, rubbing gentle circles into her skin. Lily sighed into her pillows and closed her eyes a little tighter against the light that was flooding the room. She knew she was waking up, but she wasn't going to give up on getting more sleep that easily.

'You're appalling at mornings you know sweetheart.' There was that voice again, accompanied by a mouth that brushed her ear gently even as it whispered to her. 'You're going to make a terrible wife; who's going to bring me breakfast in bed if you're not?'

Wife.

_Wife._

She opened her eyes and her gaze fell immediately on her left hand which was resting on the pillow alongside her face. More importantly, they instantly focused on the simple gold and diamond ring that was still on her ring finger, exactly where James had placed it last night.

As if thinking of him had made it happen, the hand that had been tickling its way lightly over her stomach slid up to meet hers, and James' fingers brushed gently over the metal band that marked her as his. When she remained unmoving alongside him, he spoke quietly, a hint of sadness in his tone.

'Second thoughts?'

That got her to wake up properly; she rolled over until she was pressed up against him and pulled him into a rather desperate kiss. It seemed that this met with James' approval, because his arms snaked round her to pull her closer, and when she would have pulled back he made a low noise of protest and deepened the kiss a little more.

When he finally released her he kept her held close to him and rested his lips against her temple, and once she got her breath back she spoke quietly. 'No second thoughts James. I just haven't got used to it yet. It just…all seemed like a dream. Last night that is.'

She felt his lips curve against her skin. 'As long as it doesn't seem like a nightmare.'

She laughed, the euphoric feelings bubbling up again now that she was remembering everything clearly. 'It really, really doesn't.' She looked at the ring again. 'How did you get my grandmother's ring? I meant to ask you last night, but I got…distracted.'

He smirked. 'I remember.'

She swatted his bare chest lightly, and he laughed at her. 'Your mother gave it to me. Or rather, she slipped it into my trunk at Easter. With a note.'

Lily stilled. 'So, does she know..?'

'No.' James laughed. 'Actually, no-one knew. I was nervous enough without the extra pressure of having other people aware of what I was planning.'

He shifted position until he was looking her in the eyes, his thumb brushing soft strokes on her cheek. 'We've been together for months, but I _swear_ you still make my palms sweat and my mouth go dry. I don't know if you'll ever _stop_ having that effect on me. But it'll be nice to grow old together and find out.'

She kissed him again, just the softest of pressures, and felt herself sigh.

'No-one knew about last night, but your mum did know I was going to propose at some point though. So did your dad. And Padfoot.'

Lily giggled as her fingers traced lazy patterns on his chest. 'Why on Earth would you tell Sirius?'

'He found the ring and gave me a total grilling, the git. He made me promise he could be best man.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Merlin help you on your stag do then.'

James grinned in sudden relief. 'You're okay with it then?'

Lily smiled. 'Can't imagine anyone better. Just get Remus to proof-read his speech beforehand, hey?'

She let out a shriek of surprise as he rolled them both over until he was pinning her to the mattress, and he grinned down at her, his hair even wilder than usual, his eyes lit by a stronger internal glow than normal. 'It's surprising how alike we are sometimes.'

She reached up and tugged both her hands through his hair, feeling it slide between her fingers. 'I am nervous about telling people though.' She admitted quietly.

James twirled a lock of red hair around one of his fingers. 'Don't be. Everyone who matters will be happy for us, and everyone who isn't happy for us can bugger right off.' He twined the rest of his hand into her hair. 'If I was you, I'd be more worried about how loopy our mums are going to be over the planning. They'll probably be five hundred people there if we don't rein them in.'

Lily groaned. 'Don't. I'm still adjusting to the idea.'

James grinned down at her. 'Well, I suggested we elope once, and you were horrified. Bet you're thinking it sounds like quite a good idea now.'

She grinned back up at him. 'I don't care how or where we do it. Just be waiting for me at the altar, yeah?'

He grinned back at her and covered her mouth with his once more.

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'Wait, wait!' Lily tugged desperately on James' arm, pulling him to a halt in the hallway outside the kitchen. He turned to face her, took in her panicked expression and tugged her into the music room opposite.

He pushed her down on the piano stool and knelt in front of her, his hands resting on her knees as he encouraged her to take deep breaths.

'Okay.' When she had some colour back in her cheeks and no longer looked in danger of passing out he gripped her hands firmly and spoke. 'Okay now?'

She shook her head, her eyes still betraying her anxiety. 'No. NO. James, I can't do this! What are your parents going to say?' She grabbed the collar of his shirt with both hands and held tight. 'What are they going to say about their son – their only son, their_ pureblood_ son – marrying a muggleborn? What about the Potter name? And we're only eighteen, and just out of school, and…'

She trailed off, no longer able to coherently express her thoughts; she just sat there, wild eyed and staring at him. He stared at her as if he'd never seen her before.

Then he started laughing.

'Oh, Lily. Oh, sweetheart. You're bonkers you know that? Stark staring mad.'

He reached for her hands and enclosed them with his, trying to supress his relief; for a moment he'd been afraid that she had changed her mind about_ him_. Now that _would_ have horrified him; at least he could offer her some reassurance about this. 'My parents couldn't give two sickles about blood. They don't care about the pureblood Potter name, and neither do I. What they do care about, is _me._ And you make me _happy_ Lily. And they love you – I'm pretty sure that if I didn't ask you, my mother would probably try and_ arrange_ a marriage between us.'

He looked down at their joined hands. 'And I know eighteen sounds young, but we're a bit different aren't we? We've had to grow up a bit too fast. And actually, it's _not_ that young in the wizarding world.'

Lily looked up at him, and he shook his head gently. 'It's not. I know that it's considered sensible to wait a bit longer in the muggle world now, but magical people tend to marry young. We won't be the only eighteen year olds announcing a wedding you know.'

Lily took several more deep breaths and allowed what James was saying to sink in. He was right she knew; his parents had never been the type to obsess over their family tree the way Sirius' family had. Yes, the Potter's were purebloods, but that had never seemed to matter to them very much. And she'd always been welcomed into their home before. And eighteen wasn't that young, and they didn't have to get married immediately. She felt the hysteria drain away as she forced her mind to examine the subject logically.

When she looked up again and met James' concerned eyes she felt a surge of remorse for the worry she'd caused him that morning. So she leaned forward and kissed him, much to his relief.

'Sorry.'

He smiled at her. 'No problem. Dealing with minor mental breakdowns is probably in the fiancé job description somewhere.'

He stood and tugged her up to her feet. 'Time to face the music.' He led her out of the music room and towards the kitchen where his family were apparently gathered.

He pushed the door open to reveal his mother standing behind the stove brewing tea, and his father leaning up against the counter behind her as they laughed over some shared joke. He took a moment to appreciate their marriage, rock solid after more than forty years together. He wanted that, and Lily wanted that too, so he was firm in his belief that waiting for it was just unnecessary.

They stepped through the door, James tugging Lily along just slightly behind him. His mother was the first to spot them and her face lit up at the sight, something which reassured James tremendously.

'There you are the both of you!' Dorea turned to a cupboard to collect two more mugs. 'We wondered if you were planning on surfacing any time this morning.'

She poured the tea and passed mugs to Charlus, who handed them over with a wink; Lily flushed and immediately wished that she didn't blush quite so easily.

'You two left early last night.' Charlus smiled as he sipped from his mug. 'I suppose it was dull compared to the sort of parties you're used to frequenting.'

'I've no idea what you mean.' James was the picture of innocence as he reached past his mother for the sugar bowl.

Dorea smiled. 'We went to Hogwarts once too you know. Things haven't changed that much I'm sure. We had some _very_ interesting parties in the common room.'

'Were you on the same house then?' Lily asked, her interest piqued. She wasn't sure why she'd never asked before ,but she'd been hit by the sudden realisation that she really didn't know very much about James' parents.

'No.' Charlus answered for them both. 'I was a Gryffindor, but clever-clogs here was a Ravenclaw.' He gestured a thumb at his wife. 'Luckily those two houses mixed pretty well, so we went to each other's parties. Although to be fair, it was only really the Slytherins that kept themselves to themselves.'

James snorted. 'Some things never change.'

'So where did you two slope off too?' asked Dorea. 'The house-elves said you didn't get in until almost twelve, but you left the party at half-eleven.'

'We went for a walk in the manor's gardens.' Said Lily quietly, and Dorea smiled at her.

'They're beautiful aren't they? Did you see the rose garden? It used to be quite famous when the Bletchley family still owned that manor. It's all been left to go a bit wild now I'm afraid.'

'We did go through there actually. It was lovely.' Lily's voice had definitely gotten quieter, and James knew that he ought to say something now.

'We stopped there for a little while as it happens. I had to ask Lily something important.' James put his mug down and reached for Lily's hand; it was trembling when he took it and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. 'I had to ask her if she'd become a Potter.'

He held up her left hand, exposing the ring to his parents. For a long moment nobody moved, then Dorea burst into tears, put her mug down hastily – slopping tea all over the sideboard – and threw her arms around James.

'You're getting married. My baby boy.' She released James and turned to Lily who was standing still and looking at her apprehensively. Dorea stepped forward and embraced her, and Lily felt tears prick the back of her eyes. 'Lily sweetheart, please tell me it was a nice proposal. Because Charlus spilt a drink all over me when he asked, and you deserve better than that.'

'Oi!' Charlus sounded indignant. Or as indignant as you could sound when bear-hugging your only son. 'I was nervous woman! And you said yes, so it can't have been that bad.'

'I was afraid you might keep talking if I didn't say yes and shut you up. You babbled Charlus.'

Lily laughed, feeling light-headed at the sheer relief pumping through her system. 'James didn't babble, if that helps. In fact, he was incredibly charming.'

'He gets that from me.' Charlus announced from behind Dorea. 'Move out of the way you total lunatic, let me at my future daughter-in-law.'

Dorea released her and she was immediately engulfed in Charlus' arms. 'I think James might be getting the better end of the bargain.' He whispered in her ear and she laughed.

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'So, did you tell your parents yet?' Marlene examined the ring closely as she spoke.

Lily nodded then realised that Marlene wasn't looking at her to see it. 'Yes, we went over earlier today. They weren't surprised at all, since my mother provided the ring and James apparently asked my father for his blessing.'

'His blessing?' Alice slid down alongside them, placing three butterbeers and a plate of cake on the end table and passing a bag of fudge along.

Lily smiled. 'Yeah. According to Dad, he essentially said that he wouldn't ask for my father's permission to marry me, because I can make my own decisions, but that he would like to know that my father was okay with it before he asked. I think Dad was sort of impressed actually.'

Marlene smiled. 'James has always been able to charm people. You are walking, talking proof of that.'

Lily twisted her head round to catch sight of her…Merlin, her _fiancé_…with Sirius and Peter, laughing over some shared joke as they worked their way through an enormous pile of snacks. 'Yes, I suppose I am.' She muttered under her breath.

'Anyway, onto important things: are you having an engagement party?' Alice pulled her legs up under her until she was perched cross-legged on the sofa.

'I don't think so.' Lily answered. 'We haven't really had much time to discuss anything really. I know James wants to put an announcement in the paper, but I'm not so sure we should do everything so…publicly.'

'Why not?' Marlene slumped back in her seat, fingers running through her long blonde hair as she attempted to organise it into a neat braid. 'James_ is_ a Potter, it's bound to become public knowledge at some point; at least this way you'd have control of when and how.'

'She has a point.' Alice agreed. 'I know you aren't much of one for the limelight, but maybe it would be better to be upfront and let people know the real story before some hag starts inventing one to sell newspapers.'

'I don't see why anyone would be that interested in me and James, but maybe you're right.' She glanced towards him again, and felt her lips twitch up as she watched him wave his arms vehemently as he argued with Peter about the possibility of the Wasps winning the league. 'And it would make him happy I suppose.'

She turned back to her friends and grinned at them. 'And it might distract him from the fact that I've picked my bridesmaids without asking him first.'

'Oh?' Marlene sounded a little disappointed. 'Who?'

'Well, it's not completely settled, because I haven't asked you yet.' Lily answered. 'But I'd probably never make it to the wedding, let alone up the aisle without you two, would I?'

Marlene and Alice stared at her for such a long moment that Lily was sure they were going to say no, but then they both pounced on her and the three of them ended up falling off the sofa as they indulged themselves in a convoluted three-way hug.

James looked up at the sound of his fiancée and her two best friends sliding off the sofa and couldn't help smiling at the sight. After her nervous hysterics of that morning, he was relieved to see that she was actually _happy_ about the engagement, because no matter what reassurance she had given him, he'd been concerned that she was having doubts that she wouldn't admit to.

Sirius punched him in the arm. 'Stop mooning over your girlfriend and focus.'

'Bloody hell Padfoot.' James scowled at him as he rubbed his arm almost unconsciously. 'You've got some pent up aggression haven't you? And that's my _fiancée_, for your information. _And_ I don't need to focus, I'm thrashing you.'

Sirius snorted and commanded a knight to move, giving it an approving nod as it crossed the chess board and beheaded one of James' bishops. 'You are not.' He said emphatically, leaning back in his chair and cracking his knuckles.

'Pete?' James didn't even look up from his contemplation of the board as his short friend came over and stared at the arrangement of their pieces; he deliberated for only a brief moment before speaking.

'I'd say…James is about three to four moves away from checkmate. If I was you I'd just drop your king now mate.'

Peter flung himself back down in his seat and continued to muse through James' collection of chocolate frog cards. 'Can I have your spare Agrippa?'

'Knock yourself out Wormy.' Replied James, smirking at Sirius. His best mate glared at him for a moment, then reached out and tipped his king over to signal the end of the game, ignoring the rather gung-ho protests from his pieces that they could still emerge victorious if he just put a little effort in.

'You're a bastard.' Sirius folded his arms across his chest and aimed a thoroughly bad-tempered scowl at James.

James sighed. 'Is this about me proposing to Lily?'

Sirius looked away and refused to answer, and Peter sniggered. 'Don't worry Padfoot, he'll still love you too.'

'Fuck off Pete.' Sirius growled, his posture stiffening up further.

'Padfoot, we went through all this, remember? Nothing is really going to change; you guys are still my best mates, we'll still go out at full moon, we'll see each other all the time. We're going to live together for fuck's sake, at least until me and Lils actually get married.'

'I know.' Sirius answered. 'I just thought, after we talked about it, that you'd decided to wait a bit, that's all.'

'Yeah, well.' James sighed, then resigned himself to having to explain his reasoning for Sirius. 'There didn't seem to be a lot of point; I know what I want, and it's what she wants too. I just figured, since we don't know how much time we've got, why waste any of it?'

No-one spoke for a moment, then Peter shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 'Bit morbid isn't it mate?'

'More realistic.' James' voice was quiet now, and he cast a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure that their conversation wasn't audible to the girls. 'Things are going to get worse before they get better; you're naïve if you think otherwise. I'm not going to live my life assuming that they'll always be tomorrow.'

Peter looked at Sirius. 'I really wish you hadn't started this line of conversation mate.'

James snorted. 'Let's just drop it for now shall we?' He stood up and stretched. 'Let's go harass the girls into sharing their sweets.'

The three boys moved over to the sofas to join Lily, Alice and Marlene, who happily made room for them, but argued violently against sharing their chocolate. They'd only been sat together for half an hour when an owl swooped in and landed on the back on the chair James had been sat in.

'That's Artemis.' Said Lily, glancing over at the owl. 'My parents must want me for something.'

'I'll get it.' James dropped a brief kiss on her temple and rose to collect the letter from Artemis. She gave him an affectionate hoot and rubbed her head against his hand, and he offered her a piece of cake which she took before swooping off. James threw the letter into Lily's lap then settled back down between her and Sirius.

Lily opened her letter, still laughing at the story Marlene was telling them, and her eyes quickly scanned through the page. James was the first to notice that she had gone rather quiet.

'Okay?' he asked quietly, knowing that she may not want attention drawn to her.

She gave him a wobbly smile. 'That depends. On how you feel about having dinner with Petunia and Vernon.'

James winced.

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'Lil, are you sure about this? It feels really strange, like it fits all wrong.'

She smiled at him and stretched up to straighten his collar and knot his tie for him. 'I'm sure James. It looks very smart, and we're going to a muggle restaurant, so you can't exactly get away with dress robes can you?'

'Guess not. I'm just not very comfortable in this.' James shrugged his shoulders into the jacket Lily was holding out for him and grimaced as he tried to settle it comfortably on his tall frame.

'At least you could afford an expensive suit that fits well.' Lily slapped at his hands as they tugged on the jacket. 'If you think this is uncomfortable, imagine wearing one that _wasn't _well tailored.'

'One of the many benefits of being rich then. Oh, I should let you know that I changed some galleons into muggle money for tonight, hopefully I brought enough. ' James stopped his struggles and tucked his hands in his trouser pockets. 'So how does it look?'

Lily took a step back and admired the way the dark grey suit fit. The pale blue shirt and tie complimented her dress - though that hadn't been intentional - and she thought that not only did he look handsome, but also adorably uncomfortable. It was good to see James Potter discomfited; he flitted through life with far too much ease in her opinion.

Still, it warmed her heart to know that he was putting himself through this for _her_; to try and improve her relationship with her sister. He was willing to completely put aside everything he knew, his entire wizard heritage, for this evening which was bound to be even more awkward for him than for any of the other parties involved.

She stepped forward and gave him a hug. He seemed surprised for a second, but it didn't take him long to wrap his arms around her.

'Thanks James.'

'Anything for you Lil.' He tilted her back so that he could see her face and smirked at her. 'And I wouldn't thank me yet, we haven't made it through the evening without disaster.'

Lily smiled up at him. 'Well, thanks for trying anyway.'

James gave her one last squeeze then let go. 'We should go, or we'll be late. And I don't think that would put either your sister or her fiancé in the best of moods do you?'

Lily grimaced. 'No probably not. This is going to be bizarre.'

'I'm sort of looking forward to meeting him.' James said conversationally. 'I was actually a bit disappointed that I didn't get to meet him at Easter after all; you've painted such an image in my head, I'm extremely curious to see if he lives up to it.'

Lily stared up at him for one long moment. 'You're such a masochist.' She said finally before grabbing onto his arm. 'You ready?'

He gave her a lazy smile. 'I'm always ready for anything darling, you know me.'

She rolled her eyes and apparated them away. They landed in an alleyway, and Lily found herself slapping James' hands away as they tried to support her.

'Will you stop that?' she hissed at him.

Unrepentant, he grinned at her but did let go. 'You can't blame me for worrying, you've never been what one would call graceful when it comes to apparition have you?'

She raised her chin haughtily. 'I've gotten much better since I got my licence and can apparate myself _thank you_.'

James glanced up and down the alley as he responded. 'And thank Morgana you did pass that bloody test, because there's no way I would have been able to get us here. Where _are _we?'

'Guildford.' Lily answered shortly. 'The restaurant should be just down the street.'

She brushed a hand over her clothes and fiddled nervously with her jewellery. James reached out and caught her hand.

'There's nothing to be nervous about. We're having dinner with your sister and her fiancé. She agreed to it and picked the venue and everything, so really what can go wrong?' He wiggled his eyebrows in the most exaggerated manner he could manage and was rewarded with the faintest of giggles.

'You're right. Of course you're right. It's just _dinner_. I just…I wish Mum had told her about our engagement. I don't really want to be the one to tell her.'

'I'll tell her if you like.' James offered.

'No. No, I'll tell her. Just…don't say anything and let me do it in my own time?' The sentence became a question towards the end, and James nodded briefly before leaning down and giving her a quick kiss.

'Your sister isn't going to be mad at you for getting married.'

The words were meant to be reassuring, but Lily just snorted. 'You'd be surprised what Petunia can get angry about. I'm not even sure _she _knows what she's angry about half the time.'

Despite all the misgivings that were beginning to crowd in on her, Lily grasped James' hand and they walked together out of the alleyway and toward the expensive French restaurant that Vernon had apparently chosen, no doubt in an attempt to intimidate the two of them.

They stepped through the doors and gave Vernon's name to the maitre d' and were immediately shown to a table where Petunia and Vernon were just taking their seats. They looked up as the couple approached and Lily was pleased to note a brief flicker of a smile cross Petunia's face; she was glad that she'd forced James into an expensive suit and that they'd made the effort to be punctual. She was really hoping this dinner would turn out to be the olive branch that she'd been hoping for.

As James and Vernon shook hands politely, but with a certain air of suspicion she aimed a beaming smile at her sister, hoping that she knew just how much it would mean to her to be able to have a closer relationship.

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This was not going well.

On second thoughts, that was a definite understatement. This was a _disaster_.

On the one hand, Vernon had been needling her and James since the moment they'd been seated at the table, but on the other, she could really do without James rising to the bait. The evening had become dedicated to one-upmanship, and Petunia's face had become more and more sour as the two men had aimed barbed comments at each other. She was now both incredibly uncomfortable _and_ absolutely certain that this evening was going to end badly, and that in Petunia's mind the blame was going to lie solely with James and herself.

Right at this moment, Vernon was describing his car in explicit detail to a very bored looking James. Lily knew that James had very little knowledge of cars and machinery in general – where on Earth would he learn about such things, coming from a pureblood family? – and was well aware that he probably didn't even know what a Vauxhall Cavalier _looked like_, let alone have any appreciation of its apparent superiority to other vehicles.

Vernon's eyes narrowed on James, seemingly recognising the signs of boredom that were emanating from him.

'Well, Potter, what do you drive then?'

James raised his eyebrows and focused his gaze on Vernon's face, before reaching for his glass and taking a firm sip of his wine before answering. 'I don't, Vernon.'

'Don't what?' Vernon asked, his eyes betraying his confusion.

'I don't drive. Why would I? First of all, we don't really bother with cars at all where I come from so I've never learnt, and second, they're so slow! I'd be permanently frustrated trying to get anywhere at those kind of speeds.' James' tone was cool, and Lily winced internally; she was very familiar with that tone, and it meant James was trying very hard not to lose his temper.

She reached over and covered her hand with his, rubbing her thumb soothingly over his skin; the very last thing she needed was for James to lose it, since that would result either in him violating the Statute of Secrecy by hexing Vernon, or punching him, and she honestly couldn't say which was more likely since James had always had a proclivity for muggle-style violence when seriously provoked.

'Cars are going faster than ever before!' Vernon exclaimed, gesturing with the hand still holding his drink and splashing some of it on Petunia's dress. Petunia's scowl deepened, and Lily felt some of the hope that she could use this evening to reconcile with her sister slip away. Vernon was continuing his bombast about modern cars, complete with arm gestures to illustrate his points, and his face was growing redder by the moment.

'…I do seventy miles an hour on the motorway every day, how can you say that's slow, hmmm?'

Vernon stabbed his finger in the air for emphasis on his final point, and stopped speaking obviously anticipating a reply.

James responded in those same cool tones. 'Well, _wizards _usually travel by apparition, which is more or less instant from one place to another, or by floo, which takes seconds. So when you can cross the world in a matter of moments, strapping yourself into a metal box and using pedals to propel yourself along roads seems a little…pointless, wouldn't you say?'

'Ahh.' Vernon seemed oddly satisfied with that answer and the accompanying sarcasm seemed to have gone over his head; for a moment Lily was hopeful that they could put the obviously contentious topic to rest, but her hopes were dashed when Vernon continued speaking. 'So you all use _public transport_. Well, that's fine for a certain class of people I suppose, but it must be difficult not to have your own, _individual_ transportation.'

James offered him a chilly smile. 'I didn't say I didn't have my own transportation, I just don't use it regularly as I find it inconvenient. But as you bring it up, I happen to own several very fine racing brooms. My favourite is my Comet 220 – just got it actually, to replace my old one – but I've also got a Nimbus 1001 – excellent handling, ash frame, very fast – and a Cleansweep 4, not so quick, but very steady…'

'I suppose you think that's funny do you?' Vernon interrupted James' monologue, his moustache twitching with anger.

'Not at all.' James responded. 'You brought the subject up, I was merely answering your question.'

Vernon snorted. '_Brooms!_ Load of tosh. I suppose _people like you_ can't really afford proper cars and the such; can't be many jobs for your kind.'

'Actually there are a lot of magical industries and the like that are completely separate from muggle ones.' Lily spoke quietly, more upset than she cared to show at Vernon's lack of respect for her and James. 'We have our own healers, teachers, legal system. It's very similar to the way you do things actually, it's just separate. And based on slightly different principles I'll admit.'

She took an unsteady gulp of her wine and carried on talking, trying desperately to steer the conversation onto safer ground. 'James plans on going into law enforcement and I'm going to be an apprentice at an apothecary I think.'

'You haven't mentioned that before.' Petunia spoke quietly, and Lily aimed a grateful look at her sister.

'No, I hadn't really decided. You know me Tuney; always a bit indecisive. But I think I'm definitely going for it, it's what appeals to me most.'

Petunia returned her slightly wobbly smile, and James turned his hand over on the table so he could twine their fingers together. Vernon, on the other hand, huffed loudly.

'Well, I suppose an apprenticeship is better than nothing, and if you can't get anything else...'

'Lily had plenty of offers.' James interrupted. 'She's absolutely brilliant, and her grades will back that up when they're sent out in August. This is what she _wants_ to do, and she doesn't have to worry about money, so the pay doesn't matter either, though I'm sure it's very generous.'

Lily gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand. 'I didn't actually ask about salary. The opportunity was enough, and it's not like I'm worried about money.'

James grinned at her and for a moment Lily hoped everything would be okay; Petunia wasn't smiling anymore but she didn't look upset, and she could see the tension melting out of James' posture. Her hopes were dashed by the sound of Vernon's loud voice, full of disdain and derision.

'I suppose you all claim benefits do you? No wonder you're not worried about money; I've always thought taxes were too high, and it's no wonder if ordinary decent folks like us are paying out to support all of your lot while they do naff all.'

James clicked his tongue against his teeth, and Lily could see his temper fighting with his better judgement. Petunia's eyes were flicking worriedly between Vernon and James, and Lily could see that her sister was as aware of the realities of the situation as she was.

When James finally spoke it was slow and deliberate, with obvious anger behind it that was nonetheless masked in politeness.

'Actually, our economy is separate to yours, so none of_ your_ taxes go to any of _our _lot. And as it happens, I don't worry about money because my family is one of the richest in the wizarding world. We have a large fortune, most of which is stored as solid gold at the wizarding bank but we also own rather a lot of land and property, as well as shares in some extremely successful businesses. So, unsurprisingly, we don't claim benefits.'

'Hmph.' Vernon folded his arms across his chest; his face had begun to turn puce with fury over the course of James' speech. 'Even if that were true – and I don't believe that swill for a moment Potter – I don't see how it relates to whether Lily will earn enough to pay her way.'

'Lily will never have to worry about _paying her way_ Vernon, don't you concern yourself with that.' James snapped.

Vernon turned his eyes on Lily and sneered. She could see the anger building up in him, and the tension between the four of them was now ridiculously uncomfortable. 'Going to rely on your boyfriend for handouts? Not very practical in the long term you know.'

Lily felt James' fist clench round her hand, and she lifted her head to look Vernon directly in the face. 'Actually Vernon, when James and I are married, we plan on sharing everything. That would be appropriate for a husband and wife wouldn't you say?'

She heard Petunia's little gasp, and she turned her eyes to her sister, trying to apologise with a look for telling her like this.

'You're…getting married?' Petunia's voice was quiet.

'Yes.' Lily answered. 'I would have told you sooner, but I didn't want to put it in a letter, I wanted to tell you face to face and this is the first time I've seen you.'

'When…' Petunia stumbled over her words and cleared her throat before she began again. 'When did this happen?'

'Two weeks ago.' James answered for Lily, lifting his other hand so he could enclose hers in both of his. 'Two weeks ago I asked Lily to be my wife, and I was lucky enough that she said yes.'

Lily smiled at him and lifted her left hand to rest it on top of his. She heard Petunia gasp and she looked up at her sister, whose eyes were fixed on her ring.

'Gran's ring?' Petunia spoke quietly.

'Rose gave it to me.' James spoke again. 'She thought Lily would like to have it.'

Petunia stiffened up, and her eyes blazed for just a moment. 'Of course she did.' All trace of warmth and friendliness had gone, and Lily was baffled as to what could have caused this sudden change.

'So you're getting married.' Vernon's angry voice cut into the conversation again. 'Well congratulations. I hope you'll be very happy doing nothing with your lives and living off your _magical _fortune.'

'I'm sure we will be.' James answered defiantly. 'Though I'm not sure we plan on doing _nothing _exactly, we will be sure to enjoy our money. Thanks for your concern.'

Vernon snarled at him and rose from his seat, throwing his napkin down on the table. 'You're nothing but a pair of fantasists. We're leaving Petunia. Your sister is obviously not the sort we want to associate with.'

He stormed out, and Petunia began to rise slowly from her seat to follow him.

'Tuney…' Lily began, faltering when her sister raised a hand to stop her.

'Don't Lily. You had to provoke him didn't you? You know how he feels about your kind – how we _both _feel – and you insist on discussing it.'

'It's who I am Tuney. If you ask me about work, or home, or my friends,_ anything_ about myself the answer will always involve magic. I can't help that.'

'Maybe not.' Said Petunia as she too placed her napkin on the table and stood up. 'I suppose that means we'll just have to avoid talking to each other.'

Lily stared up at her sister. 'Tuney…'

'You'll have to come to the wedding. I don't want any awkward questions. But after that… I don't think we'll have much need to see each other.' Petunia's eyes were fixed on some distant part of the restaurant as she spoke, refusing to look at either James or Lily. 'Goodbye.'

She left, leaving Lily and James seated alone at the table. They sat in silence for a moment until a dry sob escaped Lily's throat. James spun to face her and took her broken expression; he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, and the second they'd wrapped around her the tears began to flow.

He rocked her gently, ignoring the looks of the other restaurant patrons as he murmured soothing nonsense into her ear, and waving away the waiter who hurried over. When her breathing was even again he leaned back to look her in the eyes.

'I'm so sorry Lily. I should have had better control of my temper. I shouldn't have let him rile me up, I know it was immature…'

He hadn't gotten to end of his sentence before she'd buried her face in his neck again. 'Don't worry about it James.'

The words were so soft he had to strain to hear them.

'He was never going to give either of us a chance, not really. And Tuney is always, always going to pick him. So that's that.'

He wished so much that he could offer her some words of comfort, that he could contradict her and say that everything would work out between her and Petunia one day. But he'd be lying and they'd both know it, and there was no comfort in empty words.

And he wouldn't lie to her.

So he whispered true things instead; that he loved her, that her parents loved her and so did his, that she had so many friends and so much in her life that was good, and so many people who valued her.

And when she'd stopped crying, when her tears were drying on her face, he called the waiter over and settled the bill without question before leading her out of the restaurant and back to the alleyway, where he apparated them both away.

******__****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) __****(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)**

**************A/N: So they say starting is the hardest bit, so hopefully it's going to get easier (and quicker) to write as I get properly into the plot. I don't like writing the Dursleys, so I'm glad to have got this bit out of the way, but I did feel it was necessary to have it there. I also felt that since we'd had Lily's parent's responses to the proposal in TT, it was only fair to get James' parent's views here; and I love writing his parents, so any excuse.  
**

**************I've tried to use canon facts where possible in this, but I'm aware that I'm not sticking quite to canon timescales for things like the dinner with Vernon and Petunia. Hopefully, you will all forgive me for taking liberties with the Potterverse :)**

**************As always, I would love to hear what you think, so reviews will always be appreciated. I'm also on Tumblr if anyone wants to message me on there or whatever; there's a link on my profile. **


	2. Brothers, Werewolves and Mummy Dearest

**A/N: First of all: Oh my God, an insane amount of reviews and follows and everything for the first chapter. Just, wow. Thank you all. Sorry this took so long; I've been extremely uninspired recently, so I started off a new fic to help snap me out of my rut. It seems to have worked anyway.**

**This chapter became extremely Sirius-centric in the writing. I find myself absolutely fine with this; I love a little Sirius in the morning. And afternoon. And just always. **

**What else can I say about this chapter? Er, it's pretty much bromance all the way.**

**Just a quick warning: Sirius has an incredibly foul mouth at the best of times, and in this chapter he's ****_much _****worse than usual. So are some of the others for that matter. If you are offended by casual ****_strong _****swearing, you may wish to abandon ship right here. **

**Thanks for reading.**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

The sun was incredibly hot, and James could feel the sweat beading on his back as he swooped around Sirius and aimed the quaffle. It soared past his best mate and dropped through their conjured goal-hoop before Sirius even reacted.

Sirius slowly dropped down to retrieve the leather ball and then rose back up, tossing it back to James who caught it and tucked it under his arm. He sent an appraising look at Sirius and observed the slump in his posture and the abstraction in his eyes.

'Do you want to talk about it?' he asked, pushing his hair back from his face to better focus on his friend.

'What?' Sirius jerked his head up in reaction to the first words either of them had spoken since coming outside.

'Do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you?' James repeated, adjusting his position on his broomstick slightly.

'No.' Sirius answered bluntly. 'There's nothing you can do to help, and there's no point even discussing it.'

James furrowed his brow as he observed his best mate carefully for a moment. 'Okay.' He responded finally. 'If you're sure. But if you do want to talk about it…'

'Yeah, yeah, you'll be the first.' Sirius swooped off, getting himself back into position, and James sighed to himself as he gripped the quaffle firmly in his left hand and began to fly towards the goal again. He couldn't make Sirius talk to him, but he was sick of him brooding all over the house; he'd thought that a quick pick-up game of Quidditch might brighten him up, or at least improve his mood to the point where they could discuss things, but apparently not. James sighed louder as he scored again, with Sirius once more making little to no effort to block him. If he didn't snap out of it in the next couple of days, he was thinking of setting Lily or Remus on him.

Half an hour later he and Sirius had almost completely given up on the game and were more or less just flying lazy loops around the grounds of the Manor. As he came past the ornamental pond for the third time, James lowered his broomstick down and hovered above it, watching his mother's fish swim. He'd only been there a moment when Sirius appeared alongside him.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, they just watched the fish swim happily in their own little world, until Sirius sighed heavily.

'My brother's a prick.'

James' head jerked up and he swivelled his head to look at his friend. 'You've spoken to him?'

Sirius snorted and shook his head. 'Of course I haven't. Why do you think I'm calling him a prick?'

James considered his words for a minute, then shook his head slowly. 'You've lost me mate.'

'I thought he'd contact me.' Sirius stared off into the distance as he spoke. 'I thought he'd realise how stupid he was being, and then he'd want out and he'd find a way to contact me for help.'

James looked down at his hands, his heart sinking for Sirius, and he wondered what he could possibly say to make things better.

'Don't do that Prongs.' Sirius' voice was still weary, but now it held an edge of annoyance.

'Don't do what?' asked James, his baffled eyes lifting to meet his friends.

'Don't sit there and wonder what you can do to fix things.' Sirius said firmly. 'I can hear you thinking it all the way over here, and I hate to break it to you Prongs, but you can't fix everything. You can't fix _this_, and no-one expects you to.'

James gave Sirius a sad smile. 'If there was something I could do…'

'Then I'd tell you, and I know you'd do it.' Sirius finished for him. 'I _know _that. I know better than anybody that you'll always help out your friends. I live in your fucking house for Merlin's sake.'

'That's not…' James began, but he was cut off again by Sirius waving a hand.

'You're more of a brother to me than Reg is; I suppose that's sad in some ways, but it's true. But I haven't felt like I'm alone since I met you and Moony and Wormtail, and that's always meant a lot to me, because Agrippa knows I felt alone before then, in that fucking house with my fucking family.'

He paused for a moment, but James knew better than to interrupt him: Sirius had been bottling this up for a long time, and if being friends with Remus had taught him anything it was that sometimes you just have to be willing to listen while someone offloaded all their shit onto you.

Sirius spoke again, the anger draining from his voice and being replaced with a sort of weary resignation. 'Reg and I have never been close, but…fuck, I should have been able to do something. I should have been at least able to keep him out of this shit while we were both at Hogwarts. I just feel like I completely failed him somehow.'

They were silent again for a moment, while James waited to see if there was anything else forthcoming from his friend. When it became obvious than Sirius was done speaking for now, he cleared his throat to get his attention before he responded to him.

'You gave him every opportunity mate. You showed him that he didn't have to toe the family line if he didn't want to, and you did that just by being who you are and sticking to what you believed in. He could have done it too; he just didn't want to. He believed what your parents fed him, and _they _are responsible for the mess he's got himself into now, not you. You tried to get through to him, I know you did, but he made his own choices. All you can do now is be ready to help him if he ever asks you to.'

Sirius looked at him, and after a moment he smiled weakly. 'Lily has turned you into one sappy bastard, you know that don't you?'

'Nah.' James grinned back at him. 'I've always been this sappy; she just taught me to be better at expressing it.' He cleared his throat again. 'And on that note: while we're being all mushy and emotional and talking about our feelings, I just wanted to say that I'll be proud to have my brother as my best man when I marry her.'

Sirius' whole body gave a start of shock, and he raised an eyebrow at James. 'You know I was joking when I made you promise I could be your best man you know? I wouldn't hold you to it if you wanted to ask someone else. Someone who'd actually be reliable and responsible. So, Remus basically.'

James nodded. 'I know that. I just suddenly realised that maybe _you _didn't know I was completely serious. I wouldn't have asked anyone else.'

Sirius' face lifted into the first real smile James had seen from him in the last few days. 'Then let's leave all this emotional crap here, and go inside and discuss your stag party; there's a bottle of mead in the kitchen with our names on it.'

They spent the entire trip back to the house trying to push each other off their broomsticks.

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Lily almost knocked her mother over when she spotted Artemis swooping into the garden with the newspaper gripped tightly in her talons. She flung open the kitchen window and her owl dropped the paper on the counter and left the kitchen immediately for the comfort of her outside nesting box.

Lily opened the paper and began to flip agitatedly through the pages, ignoring the slightly confused looks passing between her parents.

'Lily?' Her mother ventured. 'Is everything okay sweetheart?'

'I'm not sure yet.' Answered Lily, still frantically flipping pages like a women possessed. 'I'll let you know in a minute.'

She flipped over another page and then she saw her and James' faces staring out at her; it was a picture she recognised as one that Marlene had taken at Charlus' retirement party. James was standing behind her, hunched over a little so his arms could wrap around her and his head could rest on her shoulder. The both of them were laughing like fools as they posed, and every so often their heads would turn to the side so they could look at each other, and James would softly bump his nose against hers, eliciting an even bigger smile from her.

Lily smiled at the sight of the picture and the memories it evoked, but she did feel a tinge of embarrassment at such a personal photo being shared with the world. Biting her lip, she allowed her attention to drift to the words printed below the picture.

**Mr and Mrs Charlus Potter, of Potter Manor, Wiltshire, are pleased to announce the engagement of their only son**

**James Charlus**

**to**

**Lily Catherine Evans**

**of Cokeworth, Surrey, daughter of Mr and Mrs William Evans.**

**The wedding date and venue is yet to be confirmed.**

She blew out the breath she'd been unconsciously holding. She didn't know exactly what she'd been expecting, but the thought of having their engagement announced in the paper had been giving her palpitations ever since she'd given in to Dorea's request to have it done. This, she could handle; it was just a photograph, and a few lines in the announcements pages.

Probably no-one even read them anyway.

Suddenly feeling her parent's gaze on her, Lily looked up to see them still looking at her with some measure of concern about her slightly abnormal behaviour, so she simply folded the paper to the page and handed it silently to her mother before moving to the sideboard to make herself some toast.

She closed her eyes and started to count; her mother had started squealing before she'd made it to three.

'Oh Lily, what a beautiful photo! Just look at the two of you. Oh, sweetheart.' Lily turned to face her mother, her eyebrows lifting in amusement. Her father had leaned across the table to see the object of the gushing, but unlike her mother he seemed entirely unaffected by the picture and announcement in the wizarding press.

'Mum, you knew I was engaged. You supplied the ring for heaven's sake.'

'I know.' Rose sniffled. 'But it seems so much more real now. Both my girls are grown up.' She looked down at the paper again before she gave Lily a watery smile. 'It _is_ a lovely photograph; it's almost a shame it's a magic one. I'd like a non-magic one of you and James to hang on the wall.'

Lily smiled. 'You can take a photo of me and James anytime you want Mum.'

'Oh, we should get a family portrait one as well!' Rose turned to face Petunia as she entered the room. 'What do you think Tuney?'

'Of what?' Petunia's answer was characteristically short-tempered; she was only barely speaking to Lily these days, and whenever they were required to be in the same room she reacted by refusing to interact any more than she had to.

'I think we should get a family portrait photograph done, just us four before you girls get married; while we're still all Evans'.' Rose smiled at her older daughter, obviously hoping for a positive reaction; she was keenly aware of the growing rift between her girls and she was far unhappier about it than she was letting on.

Petunia glanced up at Lily, who returned to buttering her toast and pretended not to have noticed, then back at her mother. 'If you want.'

'Well don't sound so enthusiastic.' Rose grumbled. Petunia forced a smile; for all she was currently at outs with Lily, she obviously had no desire to be at loggerheads with her mother as well.

'Sorry. You know I hate mornings.' She picked up the orange juice carton from the table and poured herself a glass. 'What brought this on anyway?'

'Your mother was gushing over Lily's engagement announcement in the paper, and now she has a bee in her bonnet about getting photographs of everybody apparently.' Williams answered the question before anyone else could, and Petunia's eyes finally fell on the Daily Prophet lying abandoned in the middle of the kitchen table. She usually resolutely ignored the wizarding newspaper, as if its very presence was contaminating, but now she very slowly pulled it over and stared mutely down at the smiling image of Lily and James for a few uncomfortable seconds.

'You put a wedding announcement in the paper?' she asked, not looking up from the page as she spoke to her sister and Lily found herself shifting anxiously as she turned round to face her.

'Yes. Well no, actually James' mother did. I wasn't exactly keen, but it's something the Potter family have always done.' Lily paused for another gulp of her coffee. 'There's quite a bit of emphasis on traditions with some of the older wizarding families, and it just…seemed easier to go along with this one, since James and I are already breaking quite a few others.'

Petunia's lips visibly thinned as her eyes continued to appraise the announcement. 'I see.'

'Manor houses, family vaults filled with gold and wedding announcements in the national press.' Rose laughed. 'I think you might not have told us everything there is to know about James' family sweetheart.'

'Yes, yes, we all know he's rich and a wizard and just bloody _perfect_, can we drop it now?' Petunia's voice dropped to almost a snarl.

'Petunia!' Rose looked shocked at the venomous tones coming from her daughter, but Lily shook her head at her mother.

'It doesn't matter Mum. Really.' Her voice was small, and an awkward silence fell over the room. She drained the last of her coffee and dropped the mug in the sink, abandoning her uneaten toast entirely. 'I'm just going to go upstairs and write some letters.'

She left the room and headed upstairs towards her room, aware of the scolding voice of her mother rising in volume in the kitchen, accompanied by the sound of Petunia's complaining response. She closed her bedroom door behind her, shutting the sounds of family discord out.

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'Oi, Prongs!' Sirius was standing on the lawn outside the kitchen of Potter Manor waving both arms at James, whose outline was just visible as he jogged around the garden paths in the distance.

'You could have just sent him a patronus you know.' Remus sounded amused as he leant against the door jamb, arms folded as he watched his friend jump up and down and wave his arms.

'That would be slower than this.' Sirius didn't turn to face him, nor did he slow the pace of his arm waving; he did increase the volume of his yells though.

'Quieter though.' Peter piped up; he was sitting on the step outside the kitchen door and watching the scene with amusement. 'How come you're not out jogging with him?'

Sirius dropped both arms and twisted his upper body to face his friends. 'When, in the seven years you have known me, have I _ever_ given you the impression that I am likely to go jogging?'

'Well, to be fair, Prongs never used to go jogging either. Unless he did and I somehow managed never to notice.' Peter looked up at Remus, still standing alongside him and leaning against the doorframe. 'He didn't, right?'

Remus shook his head. 'No, Prongs never showed any inclination for jogging while we were at school.' He watched his friend for a moment before a thought struck him. 'Perhaps he's missing Quidditch?'

Sirius snorted and folded his arms across his chest. 'We play loads of pick-up games, and we could easily organise bigger, proper ones if he really wanted to. More likely he's trying to take his mind off of how much he misses his beloved Lily.'

A small frown settled across Remus' brow. 'How long has it been since he saw her then?'

'Yesterday.' Sirius answered shortly. 'Wedding announcement went in the paper and her sister went ape-shit for reasons known only to herself, so he went over for moral support. But he's a lovestruck fool, and I imagine if you asked him you'd get some overly poetic answer about hours feeling like days or some such shit.'

Peter laughed, but Remus just shook his head. 'You've become awfully cynical recently Padfoot.'

Sirius frowned in response. 'I've reason enough, don't you think?'

There was an uncomfortable silence for a few moments as all three boys watched James circle back towards them and pick up his pace to reach them sooner. He stopped a few hundred yards away from them and began a cooling walk as he moved towards the house.

'Moony. Wormtail.' He gave them a bright smile through his heavy breathing. 'Wasn't expecting you today.' He paused, leaning his hands on his knees as he tried to steady his breathing back to normal pace, and then a momentary flash of confusion crossed his face. 'I wasn't supposed to be expecting you was I? Because if I was I'll have to apologise now, it slipped my mind entirely.'

Remus smiled and shook his head. 'We're here unannounced, don't worry. We're just taking advantage of your hospitality.'

James slung an arm around his shoulder as they entered the kitchen. 'Well, you're always welcome here mate.' He let go and walked over to the pantry, pulling out a pitcher of pumpkin juice and summoning four glasses with a quick wave of his wand as he carried it over to the table. He slumped down into a seat, poured himself a glass of juice and took off his glasses to wipe his face with his hand.

'So is this a social call?' he enquired, replacing his glasses and looking at his friends. Peter and Sirius both looked to Remus, who gave a one-shoulder shrug. 'Half and half really. I do have a few things to tell you all but it seemed a much pleasanter idea to grab Pete and come for a visit rather than write to you all or whatever. Get out of the house and see everybody and all that.'

James grinned. 'Aren't apparition licences great? This is the first summer we've all been able to come and go pretty much as we choose; no relying on the floo system or side-alongs.'

Sirius scowled at him. 'All you do with yours these days is visit Lily.'

James scowled right back. 'She_ is_ my fiancée, I do quite like her if you hadn't noticed.'

'Oh, we'd all noticed.' Said Peter dryly, getting a laugh out of Remus and a grin out of James.

'Well, what can I say?' James downed his glass of juice in two enormous gulps. 'I'm an affectionate sort, and I see no reason to hide it.'

'Okay, enough you lot. Padfoot, are you alright?' Remus frowned across the table at Sirius. 'You seem really out of sorts mate.'

Sirius slumped back in his chair with a sigh. 'I know, I know, I'm a grouch. That's pretty much the last thing Marlene yelled at me before she went to stay with Mary for a couple of days. Only she didn't put it that politely.'

'I'll bet.' Remus shuddered at the thought of the profanity that had probably left Marlene's mouth.

Sirius looked down at his hands as they spun his glass of juice round in circles on the table. 'Things are just…getting on top of me a little at the moment. I'll be fine.'

He kept his eyes fixed on the table as he swigged from his glass, and each of his friends was quiet for a minute as they observed him. After a moment he seemed to brighten up, and he looked over at James. 'Wormtail was a bit perplexed by your new hobby Prongs.'

James raised an eyebrow. 'Come again?'

'The jogging, mate.'

Peter suddenly sat up straighter. 'Yeah, what's with the jogging Prongs?'

'I like the exercise, and it gives me time to think.' James shrugged. 'And there's a physical portion of the auror testing, so I want to be ready.'

Sirius shook his head in mock sadness. 'I remember the days before you became all thoughtful and responsible. You were more fun.'

James gave him an exasperated look. 'I was a git and you know it.'

'You were still fun.' Sirius grinned at him and James gave up, shaking his head at his friend even as a small smile lurked at the corners of his mouth. There was a part of Sirius that would probably always be that lost little boy he'd met on the Hogwart's Express, and James was aware that his best friend was rather insecure about all the changes that leaving school had brought about. It was only fair to cut him some slack, so James said nothing in response.

'Anyway, enough small talk.' Remus broke the slightly awkward moment by standing up and collecting a leather satchel that had been sitting on the floor by the door. 'Take a look at some of this.'

He emptied out the contents onto the table, and four sets of hands began to sort through the sheaves of paper that fell out.

'Bloody hell Moony, what is all this?' James picked up the nearest scroll of parchment and unrolled it to reveal a map of London with a number of locations marked with coloured dots. Remus leant sideways to peer round James and see what he was looking at.

'_That _is a map of occurrences in London that could be attributed to Death Eater activity.' He answered and began to root through some of the other papers on the table. 'There's a key somewhere that explains what the different colours mean. And there are maps of the rest of the country too; some of the cities have their own individual maps because there were so many incidents, but there is one complete map of Britain somewhere…a-ha!'

He pulled out a large roll of parchment with a flourish and unrolled it across the table so they could look at it; the four of them gathered round to examine the map.

'So each dot is an event that the Death Eaters were responsible for?' Sirius asked, his head bent close to the page as he examined a surprisingly large cluster in the area around Newcastle.

'An event it is reasonable to_ suspect_ Death Eaters were behind.' Corrected Remus. 'There's no hard evidence for most of this, just speculation. They're too smart to leave obvious proof unless they intend to.'

'And the newspaper clippings?' Peter asked, holding a handful up in the air.

'Just supporting evidence.' Remus shrugged. 'Some of them are from the muggle press as well; this map shows incidents that have been overlooked because they weren't reported in wizarding press.'

'So what's this all in aid of Moony?' James was still poring over the map. 'I mean, of course as much information as possible is helpful, but I'm guessing you have an aim in mind for this?'

Remus nodded, smiling slightly at his friend's astuteness. 'I was thinking that we might be able to establish a pattern; maybe in the timing or the location of the attacks. We might be able to pre-empt them, or maybe even establish possible locations for Death Eater safe houses and strongholds.'

Sirius whistled and James looked up sideways at Remus, grin fixed on his face. 'You always were the smart one.'

'Maybe,' said Pete sitting back down across from them, 'but I'm still rather disappointed that you've been spending your time this summer putting all this together. It's practically _homework_.' He pointed a finger accusatorily. 'And school is _over_ my furry friend.'

Remus looked suddenly uncomfortable, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the other three, who all looked at him curiously. He shifted slightly, then sighed and closed his eyes. He'd known he was probably going to have to tell them the truth, but he'd really hoped to find a way around it.

'If you must know, Julia did most of it. She passed on what she'd found to me and I collated it.'

James' eyebrows rose and Peter's jaw dropped, but Sirius just grinned. 'You're much more duplicitous than I gave you credit for Moony! You haven't been doing serious research at all, you've been sneaking around with Miss Huxley. Well well.'

Remus sighed. He'd known this would happen the moment he mentioned Julia's involvement in this. 'We're not _sneaking around_. We've met up a few times since school finished, that's all. Just a coffee or an ice-cream or whatever. You _know_ we're friends.'

'Yeah, you're friends with Frank and Mary too, but you're not meeting them for coffee and ice-cream.' Said Peter. '_And_ you haven't told any of us about meeting up with her either, and that's a bit strange mate.'

'Oh, I'm _sorry_.' Said Remus with an unusual amount of heat and sarcasm in his tone. 'I completely forgot that all my social engagements must be run past you lot. You aren't my keepers.'

'He didn't mean that Moony.' Said James quietly. Remus looked at him sharply and James shook his head. 'He didn't. It's just…we've all noticed this okay? You would have more than likely mentioned to one of us if you were meeting Lily, or Alice or whoever, but you seem to not want to talk about Julia. Can you blame us for thinking that there's something more to your relationship with her? And all we can do is speculate, because you won't talk to us.'

'Because you react like this!' The words, and the anger behind them, seemed to surprise Remus almost as much as everyone else. 'You make _stupid _assumptions based on the idea that I'm just like the rest of you, and I'm not okay? I'm not. I don't have the choices you do, I don't have the same options. I'm not going to have nice normal lives like you lot are, I'm not going to get a good job and get married and have a family. Yeah, I like Julia; she's funny and intelligent and sweet and we're _friends_!'

Remus took two deep breaths to try and regain more of a semblance of control before he finished what he was saying in a more level tone. 'And it doesn't matter if I want anything more, because _I can't have it_. I don't get to be anything more than friends with her. So forgive me if I don't want to talk to you lot about all the things I can't have, whether I want them or not.'

There was a moment of shocked silence, then Sirius tried to speak. 'Moony…'

'Don't.' Remus held up a hand to stop him. 'You've been the best friends I could have asked for over the last few years, and I'll always be grateful for that. But you can't possibly imagine what it's like to be what I am.'

'What, a person?' asked Sirius sharply. 'Strange, because I thought we all had a bit of experience with that.'

Remus' fist clenched. 'Stop it Padfoot.'

'Stop what?' asked Sirius mockingly. 'Treating you like a human being? Like a mate? You know bloody well I'd have taken the piss out of Prongs or Wormtail if I found out they'd been meeting up with a girl without telling me about it, so forgive me for treating you exactly the same as them!'

'Padfoot…' There was no mistaking the warning tone in James' voice, but Sirius was on too much of a roll to be stopped now.

'Just to clear it up mate, you aren't the only one with a giant bucket load of shit in your life. You face prejudice because of what you are, well so do I! _I'm a fucking Black!_ You think people don't know what kind of wizards my family produce? You think they don't take one look at me and start whispering about dark arts? People jump to conclusions without bothering to find out the first thing about me, and I live with that every day, just like you do! So don't try telling me that everything in my life is so fucking rosy that I can't understand your problems.'

'Your family has a bit of a dodgy reputation!' Remus ground out the words, fists clenched as he leant towards across the table towards Sirius. _'I'm_ a sodding werewolf!'

Sirius leant right back across the table and stabbed a finger in Remus' face. 'And my brother's a fucking Death Eater!'

The four of them sat frozen for a moment as Remus and Sirius locked eyes across the table and Peter and James eyed them nervously, and then Remus pushed his chair back and stood up.

'I'm going for a walk.' He left without making eye contact with any of them, the back door juddering in its frame when he slammed it shut.

James let out one long breath and turned to look at Sirius, still resting his elbows on the table, posture rigid. 'Padfoot…' he began again, but was cut off by Sirius standing up abruptly.

'I'm going to reply to Marlene's letter.' He announced, turning and leaving the room before either of them could try and say anything else.

James and Peter were left looking at each other across the Potter's kitchen table. Peter lifted the pitcher of juice and looked from it to James.

'Got anything stronger?' he asked, one eyebrow rising.

James nodded wearily, his right hand making trails through his hair. 'Oh yeah, I think this calls for a visit to the drinks cabinet.' He stood up and headed for the door, not stopping to check that Peter was following him; his short friend fell into step with him in the hallway as they headed towards the family lounge.

'I'll tell you what Prongs,' he said somewhat mournfully, 'I wish I hadn't got out of bed this morning.'

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'Padfoot.' James leant against the door and sighed. 'Are you seriously doing this? Sulking in your room because you had a row with Remus?'

There was no answer, and James absent-mindedly buried a hand in his hair while he considered his options. He could leave Sirius to his sulks – after all, he'd only been shut up in there for a day – but that felt like he was abandoning him, however irrational the thought might be. Yelling at him through the door had so far been ineffectual; kicking the door in seemed extreme, but would definitely make him feel better. He sighed again and carried on with his one-sided conversation.

'We talked to him you know. Moony. I'm not sure we got through to him at all, but we had a go. He's pretty torn up about this Julia thing.'

Still nothing.

'Seems to me the least you could do is answer me when I talk to you. You know, seeing as I'm your best mate who's been putting up with your shit for seven years now.'

'Oh, let me at him.' Lily pushed past him and stood in front of the door. 'Sirius Black, you get your ugly, moronic, pea-brained arse out of your bed and you open this door right now!' she yelled, kicking the door for emphasis. It rattled in its frame.

There was still no answer, and Lily drew her foot back for another kick. 'I mean it Sirius, I will hex you into next week if you don't stop being such a wanker about this!'

She let her foot fly and kicked the door in three hard raps. 'James may be too soft to say it, but I'm not; you're being a comprehensive prick. Remus got over this stupid row, so I don't see why you can't stop being such a bloody cry-baby.'

To James' complete shock the door opened to reveal a dishevelled and grouchy Sirius. 'A cry-baby? _I'm_ being a cry-baby? You didn't hear him, whining on about himself as if he wasn't a real person. And he thinks we don't understand what it's like to for life to throw you a clusterfuck, as if any of us have it all rainbows and fucking roses…'

'Blah blah blah.' Lily interrupted, fixing him with a glare that would have cut glass. 'Would you listen to yourself? Since when did you wallow in self-pity? And before you even _think_ of saying it, I don't care if you think that's what Remus has been doing, _you are better than this_.'

James' eyebrows rose higher and higher as he listened to Lily deliver a rant at his best friend, occasionally drilling her finger into his chest just to reinforce her point. By the time she was finished, James would have sworn that Sirius hadn't looked that thoroughly scolded since the time they'd caught his mother's favourite sofa on fire back in third year.

'Right, now we're all managing to act as if we're adults, I'm going to leave you to it. I'm going preliminary wedding dress shopping with Marlene and Alice.'

She grabbed James' elbows and used him as support to rise up on her tiptoes and press a quick kiss to his cheek, but he turned his head quickly and caught her lips with his; he felt her mouth curve up into a smile as he kissed her and he folded his arms around her to pull her in a little bit closer, a little bit tighter. She sighed into his mouth and he felt her fingertips run up his arms until she gripped his shoulders tightly, and he almost forgot where they were until he heard Sirius groan somewhere off to his right.

'Really? Do you two have to do that right here?'

He felt Lily slacken her grip and try to step away from him, and reluctantly he let her. She was blushing, but there was that little glint of happiness in her eyes that he loved and he felt the corners of his lips lift into a smile as he watched her move away down the hall, walking backwards as she addressed them both.

'See you both later, and I expect you to both be in one piece when I get back. Nothing less than full working order, understand?' she asked mock sternly, and ignoring the smirk on Sirius' face she spun on her heel and continued her way down the hall.

James watched her go for a moment before he turned to face his best friend. 'Something tells me that you've been bottling a few things up, judging by yesterday's little outburst.'

Sirius actually managed to look sheepish and James groaned. 'Why don't you just talk to me about this stuff Padfoot? I might actually be able to help.'

Sirius pulled a face. 'What, shall we sit around and talk about my _feelings_? Shall I cut my balls off and grow breasts while I'm at it?'

James eyed his best friend. 'You know you wouldn't dare make a comment like that in front of Marls.'

'That's just self-preservation. I happen to like getting laid.' Sirius fired back at him.

James winced slightly. 'I don't need those kind of mental images okay? I know it happens, but I don't need to think about it. And stop changing the subject.'

Sirius walked back into his room and sat on his bed; James followed and perched on the very edge of the seat of the armchair by the fire; he waited patiently for Sirius to speak, elbows resting on his knees. Sirius looked up at him and groaned as he fell back so that he was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

'I'm not good at talking about this stuff okay? It doesn't exactly come naturally to me.'

James shrugged. 'If you don't want to talk about it, then don't. But the fact that you tore a strip off your best friends yesterday suggests to me that you _need_ to talk about it.'

'Merlin, you sound like one of those muggle head doctors. Psychopeterists or whatever the hell they're called.'

James shifted in his seat. 'You're still changing the subject.'

Sirius clapped a hand over his eyes. 'You want to hear it? Fine. Fine. Just…sit there and don't _say _anything.'

James sat back in the chair and waited, his silence an invitation for Sirius to continue.

'Okay. Right. Life is shit. There's a war going on, and my family is on one side and I'm on the other. And I don't really care about most of _them_: Bella and my mother and pretty well every one of them can get stuffed as far as I'm concerned. But I _do _care about you, and Remus and Pete and Marlene and your parents and so many other people, and when we start fighting, I mean_ really_ fighting, all those people I care about are going to be fighting _my family_.'

He stopped for a moment, and when he started again his voice was distinctly quieter, but his words flowed just as quickly.

'_My family_ are going to be trying to kill the people I love, and just…how the fuck am I supposed to feel about that? And I don't want people to look at me and wonder if I can be trusted, and wonder if it's true that I'm not like the rest of them, because really, how can I not be?'

He took another deep breath, and this time his words were much calmer.

'And that's exactly how people would treat Moony if they knew; they'd view him with suspicion. No matter what his character is, he'd be tainted by association, just like I am. The only real difference is, he can hide it and hope people never find out. Everyone already knows who I am.'

He sat up and looked at James for the first time since he'd started speaking.

'So it really wound me up to hear him say we could never understand, because we _could_. And let's be honest here, even if we couldn't, we've always tried haven't we? And right now, I really don't need to have my friends drift away from me too.'

James waited a few moments to see if Sirius had anything else to say; when it became apparent that he didn't, he stood up and moved across the room to sit next to him.

'Feel better?'

Sirius snorted. 'No.'

'Liar.' James flopped back on the bed alongside him. 'Moony's always been the most private of us; always picked and chosen what to tell us and when. Doesn't mean he doesn't trust us. Come on, I don't tell you everything do I? But I know I _could_ if I really needed to. That's what important. We're all still here for each other, but only when we need each other to be. We're all entitled to our privacy; doesn't mean we're not friends just because we have secrets. We don't have to tell each other _everything._'

Sirius continued to stare up at his ceiling as James spoke.

'Moony's sorry about the row you know. He just…blew up I suppose. Like you did. We're all frustrated, all worried about what's happening and it just boiled over. You and Moony have slightly more significant problems than me and Pete, and we know that. But Padfoot, anyone who looks at you two with suspicion because of who your parents are or something that happened to you as a child can go to hell, because I'd trust you both with my life. And Lily's, and you know how much that means.'

Sirius turned his head slightly to face him, his expression slightly more cheerful than it had been for a couple of days now. 'So what's your advice, O Mighty Sage of Wisdom?'

James punched him in the side. 'Don't take the piss out of me when I'm trying to help you. My advice is; try not to let it drag you down. Focus on the positives, on all the good things in your life. As for the rest of it, well, we can only do what we can. If something is shitty and it's bothering you, try and do something about it, just like we're doing by joining the Order. That whole approach got me through a year as Head Boy when I didn't have a clue what I was doing, so I can vouch for its effectiveness.'

'Yeah.' Said Sirius. 'But you had Lily as your safety net.'

'Right.' Responded James. 'And so do you. As demonstrated by the verbal arse-kicking she delivered earlier. Don't for one minute think that Lils won't call you out on your bullshit, just like Marls will, or me, or Remus. We'll stick together on this, and we'll get each other through this.'

Sirius didn't reply, and James had really run out of things to say, so they lay next to each other on Sirius' bed for a few moments while they considered things. Sirius was the first to sit up, and he scrubbed his hands over his face.

'So…if something was bothering me, and I wanted to do something about it, would you help me?'

James eyes narrowed at his friend's expression.

'That depends.'

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'I can't decide whether this is a bad idea, or a _catastrophically_ bad idea.' James muttered as he and Sirius hurried down a darkened side street.

'Oh, it's an incredibly bad idea,' said Sirius with unnecessary and completely false cheer, 'but it's just something I feel like I have to do. I need to feel like I tried.'

James put a hand on Sirius' shoulder and pulled him to a halt. 'Mate. You did try. You couldn't have done more, short of actually kidnapping him.'

Sirius nodded, his smile sliding off his face. 'I don't know if I could have done anything differently. I just need to try this one last thing, and then I can put it to rest. It's going to nag at me otherwise.'

James gave him a fleetingly small grin. 'Then let's do it.'

Sirius nodded at him, and the two of them stepped out of the side street into the central square of Grimmauld Place. They crossed the communal garden and climbed the steps leading to Number 12.

Sirius took a deep breath and seemed to be thinking about something briefly, but then he knocked sharply before speaking to James under his breath. 'I could probably still get in without having to knock, but I may as well start off on her good side. Or as close to it as I'm ever getting.'

The door creaked open to reveal a house-elf, dressed in the standard grey rags and glowering up at them.

'I want to speak to Mistress Walburga.' Sirius stared straight ahead of him as he spoke, his eyes never straying down to the elf in the doorway who scowled in response.

'Mistress doesn't want you to come in.' the elf wheezed, his glare roving between Sirius and James. 'Mistress isn't home to blood traitors.'

James glanced at Sirius, whose jaw clenched but his tone remained even. 'Go and tell her who is at the door Kreacher. Ask her if she imagines she could keep me out, if I really wanted to come in. I'm as much a Black as she is, and she'd do well to remember it.'

The elf glowered at him, but reluctantly turned and shuffled off along the hallway; Sirius stepped through the doorframe and gestured James in behind him.

'What?' he asked when he noticed the speculative look James was giving him.

'Just a bit out of character for you mate. You like house elves as a rule; and I'm just not used to you being so formal about your lineage either.'

Sirius scowled. 'Yeah, well. I don't think my lineage is much to be proud of, but _she _does. I'm not above playing on that if I have to. And I _do_ like house elves – except for that one. I've had one nasty dealing too many with _that _one.'

James nodded understandingly as Kreacher shuffled his way back towards them along the hallway.

'Mistress says you must leave. Mistress says you defile her house.'

'Oh for Merlin's sake. I assume the daft old bat is still spending her evenings lurking in the dining room?' Sirius pushed past Kreacher and opened the door behind him. James followed him quickly, careful to keep one eye on the elf; house-elves would not usually wield their magic against a wizard, considering them to be their betters, but if there was anybody that would have an elf that didn't respect that it would be Walburga Black.

By the time he closed the door on the elf, Sirius was already toe to toe with his mother and they were shouting furiously at each other.

'How dare you?! You besmirch the house of your ancestors…'

'My ancestors were a bunch of drooling, inbred streaks of piss, and not much has changed!' Sirius roared. 'My dunderhead of a brother proves that much!'

'Your brother understands the dignity of his position, the importance of purity…'

'_My brother_ is going to get himself killed! Do you understand that you insane old bat?' There isn't going to be any glory for the Noble House of Black here!'

Walburga drew herself up taller. 'When the magical world is returned to its former magnificence, your brother will be one of the celebrated few! He will be respected and admired, and he will take his place in history.'

'Funny that.' Said James loudly, interrupting before Sirius could speak again. 'Because he _wasn't_ respected or admired for his views by most people while we were at Hogwarts. _Sirius _was. Most of the magical world isn't on your side here. Perhaps it's time you really understood that.'

'How dare you address me?!' Walburga was practically radiating anger as she bristled at his words. 'You corrupted my son until he was led so far astray he was disowned, you and your bunch of snivelling blood traitors. You Potters have always been _less _than the other Ancient houses, have never truly understood dignity and pride…'

'I understand that allowing your son to abandon his schooling to go off to follow a deranged megalomaniac in his illegal exploits is tantamount to killing him yourself.' James' words were cold and calm, his expression totally neutral.

Walburga drew in a deep breath, but the impending eruption was cut off by Sirius casting a silencing spell closely followed by a binding spell; Walburga found herself quite firmly strapped to a dining chair. Even James seemed a little shocked.

'I have no interest in rehashing familiar old arguments with you mother.' Sirius straightened up as he spoke, waving his wand to release her from the silencing spell. 'I merely came to enquire after Regulus. Have you spoken to him since he left school?'

Walburga fixed her eyes on a tapestry on the wall and refused to respond to him. Sirius simply held his wand under her chin threateningly.

'Answer me.' Her eyes flickered to him briefly and she shook her head almost imperceptibly.

'Not even a letter?' Another little shake.

Sirius withdrew his wand with a sigh. 'So presumably you don't have any way of contacting him. You don't actually even know if he's alive do you mother?'

'He is.' Walburga spoke firmly. 'I believe he is.'

Sirius looked at her coldly. 'You believe that, if it makes you feel better about what you've done to him.'

He gestured towards the door and James stepped towards it before he hesitated and gestured back. 'Should we untie her?' he asked uncertainly.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder at his mother, still bound to the chair. 'Kreacher can do it. He's the only one who cares.'

He followed James out of the room and out of the house without another word. They crossed the square back into the little street they'd come from and made their way back to the lonely alley that had served as their apparition point.

They didn't speak until the lights of Potter Manor were visible before them.

'This is my home you know.' Sirius spoke quietly. 'Since that summer after first year really.'

'Yeah.' Answered James, his voice just as quiet. 'I know.'

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**A/N: Just a quick note about Sirius here: I know he might seem a little OOC in that last part of the chapter (as noted by James), but I've often thought that Sirius is a more complex character than he's usually portrayed as. **

**He was raised to be cold and callous and cruel, and while he is none of those things, I honestly think he could still act that way if he wanted or needed to. He's a Black, and while he renounces his ancestry and what it means, it's still a part of him. I'd be prepared to bet that Sirius is capable of far more than his friends would like to think. **

**Also, Remus' little strop. Well, there has to be a temper in there somewhere doesn't there?**

**Let me know what you think**

**X**


	3. Growing Up and Being Scared

**A/N: Sorry for the extremely slow update - for some reason I'm finding this very difficult to write at the moment. I'm not very happy with this chapter; it seems choppy and a bit haphazard, but I need to get a few things down before I can move the story on.  
**

**Anyway, sorry again for the wait, and I hope some of you are still with me!**

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The café was quiet at this time of the morning, and Lily found it a nice change to be in Diagon Alley when it wasn't packed with Hogwarts students trying to find their school supplies. She turned the page in the Daily Prophet and sipped at her coffee, trying to ignore the rustling of parchment coming from the seat opposite hers.

'What about this one?'

A piece of paper was flapped under Lily's nose, and she pushed it to one side and frowned at Sirius who was looking at her eagerly from across the table. She put her coffee cup down with a sigh and reached for the proffered parchment.

She scanned through the listed details of the house in Surrey with no particular interest and handed it back to Sirius with a shrug of her shoulders.

'It's fine.'

He sighed loudly, and in her opinion rather obnoxiously. 'Lils, you've said that about the last four ones you've looked at.'

Lily eyed him calmly, picking up her cup and returning her eyes to the newspaper. 'Because they were all fine.'

Sirius gave the house listing one more lookover then discarded it onto the seat of the empty chair next to him; there was a rather teetering stack of paper there already, and he still had a modest pile on the table to look through.

James appeared from over Lily's shoulder and slid into the empty seat next to her, placing a plate of Danish pastries into the centre of the table. He shrugged a shoulder at Lily. 'No croissants sorry love. Had to improvise.'

The corners of her lips twitched upwards. 'I didn't ask for a croissant James.'

'I know.' He grinned at her as he leaned over to press his lips to her hairline. 'But if there'd been one there, I would have bought it for you.'

'So what you're saying is, you bought Danish pastries to make up for the fact that you were unable to buy Lily a croissant that she didn't ask for and possibly didn't even want?' Marlene's voice cut in from behind them as she returned from the bathroom; she glowered at Sirius and began to move the stack of parchment he'd piled on her empty seat so that she could sit down.

'Yes.' James answered, then immediately frowned. 'It made more sense than that in my head.'

Marlene looked over at Lily and shook her head. 'Good luck with that one; his wits are a little addled these days. Don't let him pick the baby names; Merlin only knows what your kids will be called.'

Lily spoke loftily. 'You can't expect him to make sense all the time when he has to spend so much time around Sirius; that kind of idiocy rubs off.'

'Hey!' Sirius protested, but didn't look up from his mountains of paperwork. Lily continued with a wave of her hand. 'Besides, I'm sure his mind was just focused on weightier matters.'

'Yeah, like how long it'll be till he can sneak off with you and get you out of that dress.' Sirius flipped two more sheets of parchment onto his now teetering "no" pile and reached for the last few possibilities. Lily snatched the sheaf of paper from him and swatted him across the head with it.

'Half past nine and already being whacked by an irritated woman. That might be a record even for you Padfoot.' Remus' words made Lily jump; she hadn't even heard the door open, let alone noticed the footsteps making their way over to the table.

She smiled up at the tallest of the Marauders towering over her and James' seats. 'Hey Remus. Your mate is a git.'

'You noticed.' He gave her an easy smile as he slid into the seat next to her and she took a minute to look at him properly; with only three days before the full moon, he was already looking tired and drawn. She pushed the plate of pastries towards him and he accepted one gratefully. She wished she could do more than try and feed him up, but she knew there was nothing. She felt James' hand slide across under the table to grip hers and squeeze tightly, and she knew that her concern for Remus, while subtle enough to have been overlooked by almost everyone else, hadn't escaped his notice.

'I thought Pete would be coming with you mate.' Sirius looked up at Remus, and Lily noticed that his eyes narrowed slightly as he too tried to surreptitiously assess his friend's health. She suppressed the urge to smile and squeezed James' hand a little tighter.

'Spoke to him yesterday.' Replied Remus. 'He had to go by his aunt's place on the way here, and she never lets him leave without telling him her everything that's happened to her in that last few weeks in full detail, so he said he'd be a bit late. Should be any minute now though.'

'Well, I've looked through all these bloody particulars and narrowed it down to those.' He indicated a small stack of paper on the table, and used his wand to quickly incinerate all the others, ignoring the slightly horrified look on the face of the café owner as she went past. 'Have a look, and feel free to venture an opinion, as long as you don't just say that you think any of them would be _fine_.' He aimed a mock scowl at Lily who rolled her eyes and picked up a pastry daintily.

James reached for the top piece of parchment and scanned over it, eyebrows rising with every line he read. 'Seven bedroom mansion in Kent, swimming pool and servants quarters? I reckon you shouldn't have told that estate agent what the budget was Padfoot. He's just given you particulars for everything we can afford I think. And that's quite a lot.'

Sirius shrugged. 'I didn't think it would matter; as soon as he heard the names Potter and Black together he would have known what sort of money he was dealing with. Why try and be circumspect?'

'Bloody hell, it's not even ten in the morning and he using three-syllable words. You must be having an effect Lily.' Remus leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms out above his head, wincing when Sirius' foot connected with his shin below the table; he kicked back and caught Sirius in the kneecap, leading to a string of profanities from the dark-haired boy.

'Bloody hell Moony, that was uncalled for!'

'Why do I get the impression that I missed something?' Peter's voice cut through the stream of muttered oaths coming from Sirius. 'Isn't it a bit early for that kind of language? You'd put a sailor to shame mate.' He dropped into the final empty seat at the table and looked around at the others who were all trying to suppress laughter with varying degrees of success. 'So are we house hunting or what?'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'I'm long past caring.' Lily grumbled as she followed James into the garden of yet another property, the sixth they'd visited that day. It may have been a charming house set in a nice garden that bordered onto a forest at the back, but all she could see was another bloody house that was very similar to every other bloody house they'd looked at. None of them really spoke to her in any way, but she really wouldn't have minded living in any of them; they were just buildings, bare shells waiting for occupants.

James smiled down at her and took her hand in his larger one, squeezing gently as his thumb rubbed gentle strokes over the back of her hand. 'I know you aren't really bothered by all this Lil, I'm not either, but indulge Padfoot for me. He's more excited than he's letting on.'

Lily kicked at the doorstep moodily as they followed the others in, the overly chirpy voice of the estate agent floating back to them. 'I don't see why. We're just renting a house; we're not even buying it.'

'I know love, but…' He trailed off with a quick glance at the others, then tugged her hand to slow her pace down, putting a little distance between them and the rest of the group. 'Think about it like this: this is going to be his first real home.'

Lily opened her mouth to speak, but James silenced her with a quick wave of his hand. 'I know what you're going to say love, and yes he had a home at Hogwarts, and with my family, but they weren't _his_ see? No matter how welcome he was, he always felt…' James paused, groping for a word.

'Like an intruder?' Lily finished for him, her voice low and sad.

'Yeah.' James brushed his free hand over her cheekbone. 'Yeah, I think he did. My parents loved him, and he'll always have a home there if he wants it, but it's not the same as having your own place and just _belonging_.'

Lily raised a hand up to touch his face. 'You can be ridiculously, adorably sensitive of people's emotions sometimes, you know that? It never ceases to surprise me that _James Potter_ is capable of so much empathy and understanding when he tries.'

James shrugged, a little self-conscious at the turn the conversation had taken. 'I just know some people well enough to spot what's going on with them. Padfoot happens to be one of them.'

Lily took in his expression, caught adorably somewhere between embarrassed and concerned, and her heart felt like it was going to smash its way out through her ribcage and land right at his feet. Acting entirely on impulse and she rose on her tiptoes to press her lips to his in a brief kiss.

Or at least, that was her intention. But as her lips brushed across his, James let go of her hand and his arms came around her and caught her in that familiar grip, one hand resting on her waist and the other planted firmly between her shoulder blades to pull her tighter to his chest, and she could smell the warmth of his skin under the faint hint of his aftershave and the blood rushed in her ears and she forgot about houses, and full moons and unstable relatives as she kissed him, and he kissed her back harder.

Her hands reached up and tangled in his hair, and his grip on her tightened until she was crushed flat up against him without an inch of space between them, his hand sliding up from her back to cup the back of her head and hold her lips to his. She could taste the coffee on his tongue and could feel the racing of his heart pressed against hers, and she was just considering undoing a button or two on his shirt so she could press the heel of her palm over it when a cough made them both freeze.

James slackened his grip and Lily dropped back down from her tiptoes and they both opened their eyes to see Sirius watching them from a few feet away; amusement was glinting in his eyes but he managed to restrain himself from actually laughing at them.

'We noticed about halfway round the tour that you two were no longer with us, so I volunteered to come back to look for you. I think the estate agent would appreciate it if you two could restrain yourselves from christening the dining room, at least until we've actually rented the place; and the rest of us would prefer you waited until you're alone.'

Lily flushed just a little; familiarity with the Marauders teasing had made it much rarer for her to fully blush at innuendos, but Sirius still had a knack for bringing out the colour in her cheeks. James, on the other hand, looked completely unperturbed.

'I sincerely doubt we'll ever get an opportunity like that.'

Lily smacked him across the chest and glowered up; he beamed down at her, unrepentant, and swept one last kiss across her mouth before letting go of her and turning to face Sirius.

'What are we thinking Padfoot?'

Sirius grinned. '_We_ are thinking that we'll probably take it, assuming the approval of the lovely Miss Evans of course.'

'Oh, of course!' Lily muttered under her breath. '_I'm_ the one who's likely to make a fuss about which sodding house we rent.'

Sirius gave her an exasperated look. 'You're not being helpful here sweetheart. All I'm asking for is an opinion.'

'But why does it need to be mine?' Lily moaned, folding her arms across her body. 'I'm not trying to be difficult here, I just really don't mind which house you pick.'

Sirius looked at her sternly. 'Lils, you hold two votes on this issue because you have Prongs' balls in your pocket. Well, fifty per cent of the votes actually, since he's paying for half. Therefore, your opinion on this matters.'

Lily sighed, not particularly gracious in defeat. 'You like this one?'

He grinned at her, a full wide smile that lit up his face. 'I do. It has five bedrooms, two bathrooms and enough living space for us, plus the garden is big and the forest will be great for full moons. And the nearest neighbours are at the end of the lane, so no worries about that.'

Lily nodded as she thought through what Sirius had just said, but her focus was on the dining room she was standing in; it was bright and airy, if not overly large and she could see a decent sized kitchen through the open door that led off it. The window looked out into the garden, which _was _a nice size, and Sirius was right about the advantages of not having neighbours close by.

She bit her lip and looked over at him; he was watching her closely, looking for visible signs of approval or disapprobation. She held a finger up in the air as she spoke. 'James and I get the biggest room.'

'Done!' Sirius picked her up and spun her around once before dropping her back to her feet next to James and leaving the room at high speed. She stared after him, her face set in expression of sadness. James' arms snaked around her from behind and she sagged back a little into his embrace.

'Thanks Lil.' His whispered words were quiet in her ear. 'He needs something to focus on right now.'

She hesitated for only a moment before speaking. 'No news of Regulus?'

She asked the question quietly, knowing that the subject was veering perilously close to a topic that was uneasy for the both of them, and she felt James stiffen slightly, then relax a little as he answered, pressing his face down against the skin of her neck as he spoke.

'No. Nothing. As far as we know anyway, and I'm pretty confident Dad and Moody would tell us, regardless of Ministry secrecy. ' He sighed. 'I think that's the real problem you know; the not knowing. I mean, of course he'd be far more devastated than he'd ever admit if it turned out that something had happened to Reg, but at least he'd _know_. And he could work out how to deal with it; this…_limbo_ is torture for him. He feels like he needs to be doing something, but there isn't anything he _can _do, so he just distracts himself with things like house-hunting and staring at those maps Moony made for hours on end.'

Lily tilted her head back a little so that it rested on the front of James' shoulder. 'What about…the others? Isn't there any news at all?'

She phrased the question carefully, being sure not to allow any hint of accusation to creep into her tone; she knew that James, being who he was and his parents being who they were, heard far more about the war than he passed on to her. She knew he didn't consider it lying to her to just not divulge things that he thought would upset her, but he was sorely misguided if he thought he was actually keeping her unaware of how bad things were; she was not a stupid girl, and she had no illusions about what was waiting for them in their future. Not to mention that they were both now members of the Order, which could only pull them further into the conflict.

'Nothing.' James' answer was quiet, his tone pensive. 'You can ask about him directly you know.'

Lily felt his arms begin to withdraw from around her shoulders and she quickly grasped them with her hands, stilling his movements. 'I'm not asking about him. I'm asking if there's any information that's indirectly related to Regulus. I'm not wasting tears on him James.'

'He was your friend for a long time Lily.' James' quiet voice continued. 'I may despise him, but I…I couldn't blame you for having concerns for someone you once cared about.'

She turned in his arms and reached up to frame his face in her hands. 'He chose his side, I chose mine. I don't regret the loss of the friendship anymore. I…miss the person he was, not the person he is now.'

James looked at her carefully. 'Do you…' He trailed off and sighed before he started again. 'If I hear anything about him…do you want to know? I mean, do you want me to tell you no matter what? Because he could be a Death Eater, he could be doing awful things to innocent people right now. Or he could be dead. Do you want to know, do you want to hear about your childhood friend, even if it's terrible news?'

Lily ran her thumb gently along his bottom lip as she looked up into his worried eyes. 'You said it yourself James. It's better to know. I can handle it. I have to; it's probably not even the worst thing coming.'

James pulled her in tight and she sank into his familiar warmth as they stood together in the sun-drenched dining room of a house that was now partly theirs.

'I wish I could tell you that you were wrong, wish I could say that everything was going to be okay, but I can't. It might not.'

He murmured the words into her hair, and she felt her breath hitch as she fully grasped the reality of it; they weren't just renting a house and leaving home, they were growing up, moving out into a world of dangers they could only barely comprehend.

'You could lie to me.' She answered just as quietly, and she felt his breath shudder as he almost laughed.

'I try not to do that Lils.'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

Alice flopped onto Lily's bed and watched her friend as she continued to calmly sort her clothes into piles on her bedroom floor.

'I have to admit to being a little jealous.' She looked down at her hands as they picked at non-existent fluff on Lily's pale yellow duvet cover.

Lily's head rose and she smiled over at Alice, her face puzzled as she looked at her friend's contemplative expression and slightly nervous movements. She pushed herself up from her seat on the floor, wincing slightly as she stretched out her muscles, and made her way over to the bed, where she flopped down next to her.

'What could you possibly have to be jealous of, Alice Fortesque, my beautiful, clever friend with a wonderful boyfriend who loves her?' Lily gently nudged Alice's elbow as she spoke, trying to draw a smile from her.

Alice looked up from her fidgeting hands and gave Lily an insincere half-smile. 'It's stupid really. It's just…you're leaving home Lil. You and Marly, you're moving into your own place, and I'm…not. I'm still living with my parents and they are _still_ treating me like I'm eleven. I mean, I do love them, but they just don't seem to realise that I'm a long way from being their little girl anymore.'

Lily pushed a lock of Alice's brown curls back behind her ear. 'I'm sure it won't be long till you get your own place Ally. Once you've started work you can look for somewhere. I'm just _lucky _really, that the Spendthrift Twins have decided to waste their money on a rental house for us.' She frowned as a thought occurred. 'Didn't James ask you and Frank if you were interested? Because we could easily have looked for a bigger house to fit you in, we wouldn't have minded…'

'No, he did.' Alice interrupted. 'But at the time I thought I could easily stomach a few months at home until Frank and I could get somewhere together. And I can, it's not a problem, I just…feel a bit left behind. Like you're all growing up without me.'

Lily didn't really know what she could say to that so she just clasped Alice's hand in hers and they sat there for a few moments in silence, until Alice laughed weakly and pushed her hair back with a shaky hand. 'Merlin, look at me. All over-emotional and crying over nothing. You'd think I was pregnant.'

Lily laughed, then stopped when she realised that Alice had gone white and her hand had gone entirely limp in Lily's.

'Ally?' she squeezed her hand gently. 'Ally?'

'Oh hell, oh double bloody hell.' Alice lifted her free hand and quickly counted something off on her fingers. She turned her face to Lily's, her eyes wide with panic. 'I'm four days late.'

Lily faltered a little at that, but recovered her composure quickly enough. 'Well, four days isn't much. I'm often a couple of days early or late. It's normal.'

'I'm not! I'm never late! Oh Merlin. This is not happening. It's just not happening Lily, I am _eighteen_. Eighteen!' Alice was gripping Lily's hand for dear life now as she worked herself up into a panic. 'I'm too young for this. I can't, I just can't. What am I going to tell my parents? Oh bollocks, what am I going to tell _his_ parents?'

'Ally. Ally!' Lily had to shout to get Alice's attention, but to her relief her friend's panic seemed to subside a little in the face of Lily's calm stare. 'You don't need to worry about any of this until we work out whether you _are_ actually…you know, pregnant.' Alice looked stricken at the word, and Lily hurried to soothe her. 'There's no real reason to think you are; we'll just check, you know, for your peace of mind.'

Alice bit her lip and nodded, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. Lily held onto her hand as she reached for her wand, casting two quick patronuses asking the recipient to come to her house, before turning back to her and giving her a supportive smile. 'Just give it a minute.'

They sat there in silence for a few moments until an elegant silvery gazelle flew through the wall and landed in front of them. 'Be there in less than ten minutes.' Julia's calm voice sounded almost eerie when you heard it via patronus message.

Lily watched the gazelle dissolve and turned to look at Alice. 'Typical really. Julia's patronus just had to be something sweet and willowy and elegant didn't it? I swear, she makes every girl in the room feel uglier just by walking into it; I'd hate her if she wasn't so nice.'

Alice made a strange noise somewhere between a snort and laugh. 'Says the girl whose patronus is a doe, which is not only a graceful, imposing animal but is actually rather similar to a gazelle as it happens.'

Lily frowned at Alice. 'Is that really how you'd describe it?'

Alice opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the arrival of a silver badger. 'On my way.' Mary's voice echoed in the room as her patronus disappeared.

'Now there's one that's always confused me. Why a badger? It just doesn't seem to suit Mary.'

Lily smiled at her. 'I'm not at all sure a doe suits me, especially now I know you think it's _graceful_ and _imposing_.' She looked down at their joined hands as she continued slowly. 'Sometimes I worry that it's a doe because James' is a stag; like he's shaped who I am somehow? You know we learned to cast them right as I was starting to like him. It's a scary thought, the idea that he might have that much influence over me, that I might not be my own person anymore.'

Lily sniffed a little, still careful to keep her face turned away from Alice. Merlin, she was getting all worked up now; Julia and Mary wouldn't know what to think if they arrived to find the two of them in emotional disarray.

Alice rubbed her thumb on the back of Lily's hand. 'That's not true. A doe does suit you, and a stag suits James. You're both independent people, just compatible.'

Lily lifted her head to look at Alice's face, finding nothing but sincerity in her expression. 'You're sure about that?'

Alice frowned, her own worries momentarily forgotten in the face of Lily's uncharacteristic concerns.

'Of course I am. You're your own person Lil, you know your own mind, always have done. The fact that you and James have matching patronuses doesn't suggest in any way that one of you is _dominant_; you two…complement each other. Neither of you leads the other, you're a team. I mean, you're not as great a team as me and _Frank_, but then who is?'

The corner of Lily's lips lifted slightly at that. 'You are good together. You think me and James are too? You don't think we…damage each other?'

Alice bumped her gently with her shoulder. 'Of course I don't! Where would you come up with an idea like that?'

Lily's face fell again and Alice let out a low growl. 'Petunia. Might have known. Lily, your sister is a nutter. I say this with love; don't listen to a word she says.'

Lily lifted a hand to run it through her hair, and Alice refrained from commenting on how much James _had_ rubbed off on her in some ways; in her current emotional state she probably wouldn't take it well.

'I know I shouldn't listen to her; she just knows exactly how to get under my skin. Always has. She just keeps making these little comments about how much I've changed, and how I can't do anything without checking with James and how I let him control my life, and…and it doesn't_ feel_ that way to me, but after a while you start to wonder if it's true and everyone else can see it but you're so wrapped up in it that you can't?'

'It's not true.' Alice assured her. 'James wouldn't try and dictate to you, and you wouldn't let him. Yes, you've made changes_ because_ of him but there is nothing wrong with that and it hasn't changed you fundamentally as a person; except maybe that you're happier now.'

Lily managed an actual smile this time, and surprisingly, so did Alice. 'Thanks Ally.' She reached up and wiped her eyes. 'Bloody hell, look at us. What a pair.'

Alice giggled, and then jumped as the door opened to admit Julia and Mary; the two girls froze at the sight of Lily and Alice sat together, holding hands and clearly upset, and they descended on them in a flurry of friendly concern.

'We're both okay, really.' Lily assured them. 'Just a little overwrought I think.'

'If you're sure.' Mary looked at them both, carefully taking note of the wobbly smiles and damp eyes.

'We would have been here a little quicker, but the apparition point James picked out is a bit further away than we thought.' Julia quickly stepped in to the awkward silence and Lily felt a surge of affection for the blonde.

'He's over-protective.' Lily responded. 'The anti-apparition jinx covers about four streets I think.'

'Bloody mental is what he is; when it comes to your safety anyway.' Mary joined Lily and Alice on the bed. 'What's the emergency anyway?'

Lily and Alice glanced quickly at each other, and Lily rushed to speak. 'Alice needs a pregnancy test, and since you are both planning on being healers, I was hoping you'd know what the options were.'

Mary and Julia both looked a little surprised, but not shocked, and Lily was both pleased and amused when they both kicked straight into healer mode without a second of judgment.

'Well there are a few options, but their accuracy varies. When did your last period finish?' asked Julia in a professional sounding tone.

'About 24 days ago.' Alice's response was prompt and cool, after she'd counted off the days quickly, and Lily supressed a smile as she realised that Julia's all-business approach was very effective at calming people down; she'd be an excellent healer.

Julia frowned. 'So, how late is your period?'

'Four days.' Alice's fingers were twining nervously round each other.

'That's not really any cause for concern you know.' Mary's voice was gentle. 'Cycles can fluctuate a lot, even if you're usually regular, especially if you're stressed; or if you're using a lot of intensive magic.'

Alice bit her lip thoughtfully. 'I've been doing some practice for auror selection with Frank.'

Julia nodded understandingly. 'Lots of difficult spells done over and over, and you end up feeling really tired? And when you're not running yourself ragged physically, you're worrying about NEWT scores and Circe knows what else?'

Alice looked a little guilty, and nodded. Julia pulled her wand out of her pocket, and turned to Mary. 'If she is pregnant – don't panic Alice – then she's only a few weeks. That would make one of the more basic diagnostic spells our best bet I think.'

Mary nodded in agreement. 'All we need is a yes or no test, we don't need any specifics. Hang on, I have one of my books in here.' She began to root through her bag, searching for the book.

'Why are you carrying a medical textbook around?' asked Lily curiously as Mary pulled the book out and began to leaf quickly through; Julia moved to look over her shoulder.

'I was babysitting and I took it with me to read; getting an early start on the reading for the program at St Mungos. I'm hoping to get an advance placement.'

'That's great Mar.' Alice smiled. 'Really.'

Mary smiled back and waved her wand in an odd swirling pattern; a burst of white light wrapped itself around Alice's abdomen and turned green before slowly fading.

'What does that mean?' Alice's voice sounding like it was regaining a little of her earlier panic, and Julia put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

'It means you aren't pregnant.'

'Oh. Oh.' Alice squeezed her eyes shut tightly and took a few deep breaths. 'Oh, that was scary.'

Lily wrapped comforting arms around her, and it took only a moment for the other two girls to join them on her bed. They sat there for a few moments, all four of them, in feminine solidarity; then the door flew open and Rose Evans entered in a state of some confusion.

'Lily, I know you have visitors but your sister is sulking around downstairs with a face like thunder, what have you girls been squabbling about now?' She took in the four girls on the bed, noted the tear tracks on cheeks and the pale faces. 'On second thoughts, I'll speak to you later. I'll bring up some tea.'

She turned and left, closing the door quietly behind her.

'Your mum is fantastic.' Alice mumbled under her breath, and Lily's face lit up.

'I know.'

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'Arrroowwww!'

The howl echoed through the trees into the small clearing, and James rolled his eyes as he passed a bottle of firewhisky over to Remus. 'I'm going to assume that means that Padfoot has arrived.'

Sirius appeared through a gap in the trees and flung himself down alongside his three friends. 'Full moon. Nothing like it.'

'Oh, absolutely. It's the most fun ever.' Remus took another pull of firewhisky and somehow managed to roll his eyes at the same time.

'Come on Moony, it's not as bad as it could be.' Sirius gave him a bolstering slap on the back. 'You've got us, and we've got plenty of space to run around in.'

'And nobody for miles.' James added. 'I checked three times, the nearest people should be about four miles away.'

'And you have firewhisky.' Said Sirius cheerfully, reaching for the bottle.

'Yeah, and that does _actually_ help.' Remus glared and snatched the bottle away from him, holding it up out of his reach. 'It numbs the transformation a little bit.'

Silence fell between them for a few moments; it was always difficult for the other three when Remus said things like that. They sympathised with him, but knew it was impossible to empathise. For them, full moon was a fun excursion; yes, it was the simple fact that they wanted to help their friend that had made them learn how to do it, but they _enjoyed _their jaunts through the woods and had the added benefit of being aware and in control of themselves. For Remus, it was a dreadful transformation, a complete loss of identity mixed with pain and terror, and none of them could hope to understand that.

'It's weird.' Sirius spoke up suddenly. 'This is our second full moon since we left school, and damn if I don't miss the forbidden forest. I thought we'd be having so much fun exploring new places that I wouldn't think about it, but I do.'

'We all miss it.' Remus answered sombrely. 'Hogwarts meant something to all of us.'

'Real life sucks.' Peter spoke suddenly, and each of the other three was surprised by the amount of rancour in his tone; he'd been unusually quite so far this evening.

The other three glanced at each other before James ventured to speak. 'Is everything all right Pete?'

He grunted and reached for his backpack, pulling a bag of Bertie Botts out. 'Peachy.'

Another long moment of silence hung between them before Peter sighed and spoke again. 'My uncle's dead. Mum's brother, Walter Wilton.'

'Walter Wilton?' James frowned as his brain tried to work out where it had heard the name before. It took only moments to make the connection. 'That was a suspected Death Eater thing right?'

Peter gave an angry snort and reached for one of the bottles of firewhisky. 'I've no idea. You think the DMLE would tell the relatives anything like that? You probably know more about it than I do.'

'Pete, mate.' Sirius reached over and rested a supportive hand on his shoulder. 'We're sorry. We didn't know.'

'If you need to go be with your mum, your family, then don't worry about me.' Remus spoke quietly. 'Go.'

Peter shook his head. 'Mum's with my gran and some of her other relatives; there's nothing I can do. I'd just as soon charge round the forest with you lot so I can forget about it all for a bit.'

'Fair enough.' James reached over for the pack of Bertie's and gave Peter a friendly nudge with his shoulder; Peter gave him a weak smile in gratitude for his attempt at normalcy.

The evening was drawing in, so Sirius twirled his wand to start a fire in the middle of the clearing and they all drew close to it, sitting around it to wait for the moon.

'Do you ever think we're on the wrong side of this war?' Peter's voice was quiet as it came from the semi-darkness.

'What?!' James shot bolt upright and stared across the flames. 'How can you ask that?'

Peter winced at the tone. 'I didn't mean like, ideologically. You know I don't care about blood purity crap. I just meant, do you ever think that maybe we're on the losing side? That we can't stop him in the end?'

'We'll stop him.' There wasn't even a hint of doubt in Sirius' tone. 'We have too many good witches and wizards with us to lose this. We've got Dumbledore for Agrippa's sake! Grindelwald never came to Britain because he was afraid of Dumbledore, and before this is over Voldemort will be wishing he'd steered well clear too.'

'Don't say the name.' Peter's voice was low, and there was a hint of fear in it that surprised them all.

'It's a name Pete.' Remus was calm and clear. 'You can't let yourself be afraid of it, no matter what.'

'People are going to die.'

'It's a war.' James' tone was cool. 'People always die in wars. But it'll be _nothing _compared to what will happen if we don't fight him. There's no neutrality in this; you're with him, or he tries to kill you. We will stop him because we have to; we can't let all those people die.'

'What if we _can't _stop him?'

'We can. There'll always be someone who thinks their opinion is superior, and that that gives them the right to impose it upon everyone else. Voldemort is no different; it might be hard, but we'll stop him, one way or another.' Remus' tone was assured, and faced with the certainty shared by his three friends, Peter lapsed into silence again, wishing he had the same confidence in the eventual outcome that they did.

'Pete. I know that this is going to be bad. I know it seems so much worse when it hits that close to home – Marlene's parents were my family too remember? – but we have to do this. He's going to come for us all, and the only chance we have is standing up to him and sticking together.' James kept his tone low and calm as he spoke, his eyes on his short friend as the firelight flickered between them.

'Sticking together is what we do.' Said Sirius in a low tone. 'It's seen us this far, and through some total crap.'

There didn't seem to be anything else to say after that. The moon rose less than ten minutes later, and with it came Remus' transformation. They watched over him, as they always did, the three of them silent observers of his clawing and biting at the ground as he tried in any way he could to express the pain and confusion the process brought. They were his only comfort through this, and they never faltered; they never had.

Four animals spent the rest of the night roaming the forest they'd chosen for the evening, continuing with a ritual they'd started years ago, fully convinced that nothing would ever stop them from spending their full moons like this.

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**A/N: Reviews are always appreciated, and I love each and every one of you for reading.  
**

**I'll try and be quicker with the next chapter, though I will probably be updating New Year and Too Close before I finish off the next chapter of this. **

**Someone also suggested I write something for Jily Pirate Fest over on Tumblr, and if an idea strikes me I might well do that too.**

**What I'm saying here is; don't take my word for it when I promise quicker updates. I do try, but I suck.**

**XX**


	4. Weddings, Letters and Muggle Movies

**A/N: Sorry again about the wait, I honestly seem to be struggling to keep up with three WIPs at the moment. Life is kicking my arse. But you are all beautiful, beautiful people for putting up with me.  
**

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Having trouble?'

James was leaning against the door frame of her bedroom and smiling, and Lily returned his grin in the mirror after she'd recovered from the initial start his sudden appearance had given her. He was wearing a grey muggle suit, and though it gave her a bit of a jolt to see him in something so unfamiliar, she couldn't deny that it looked good on him.

She, on the other hand, couldn't make up her mind. Her preferred dress, picked out on a shopping trip with her mother, was an eye-catching electric blue, but she was certain that Petunia would prefer her to wear the pale green tea dress, despite the fact, or maybe _because _of the fact that she looked like a limp lettuce leaf in it.

So the question here was: wear what she wanted to and risk the wrath of Petunia, or wear something that her sister would approve of, but that made her feel frumpy and uncomfortable? She turned to face James and held her arms out to the side.

'What do you think of this one?'

James took a few steps into the room and took in the green dress; the draped sleeves, the sash tied at the waist, and his lips pursed.

'It's, er, nice. Very…modest.'

'Meaning I look like my great-aunt Clara.' Lily sighed. 'To be fair, it was a present from her. But thank you for the attempt at diplomacy.'

James shrugged and tried to suppress a smile. 'If you don't like it, why are you considering wearing it?'

'Because I know Tuney will approve of it, and it_ is_ her wedding.' Lily brushed a hand over the dress again, then sighed and reached into the wardrobe for her blue dress.

'I've got an alternative. Turn around.'

James snorted. 'I've seen you change before. And if you're worried about your parents, I'm _pretty sure _they know I've seen you naked as well.'

Lily scowled at him. 'Thanks for that, I enjoy the knowledge that my parents have probably speculated – I imagine rather accurately – about my sex life. But it's besides the point. I just don't want you to see the dress until I've actually got it on properly; I want an honest reaction.'

James rolled his eyes – he'd been spending too much time around her if he'd picked up that habit – and turned his back to her. She wriggled out of the green dress and stepped into her new, mother-approved wedding outfit. She zipped it up and flexed her shoulders until it sat comfortably.

'Okay. Turn around.'

James turned obediently on the spot. 'That one.' He said without hesitation. 'Definitely that one.'

Lily adjusted the nipped in waistband and tugged on the narrow sleeves for a comfier fit. 'You approve then?'

James began to nod, then his eyes narrowed and he stopped. 'How many single men are likely to be at this wedding?'

Lily giggled and crossed the room to him, stretching her arms up around his neck. 'It doesn't matter, because I only have eyes for you darling.'

'It's _their _eyes I'm worried about.' Grumbled James, his arms wrapping around her back. 'You look rather tempting.'

'Only rather?' Lily mocked, standing on tiptoe and tilting her head back to make eye contact.

'Extremely. Totally. Irresistibly.' James' lips came towards hers, stopping and hovering just above her mouth.

'Better.' Lily approved, her lips brushing across his.

'Ahem.' William Evans stood in the doorway, suit on and hair neatly brushed and parted. His expression attempted to be stern, but anyone who was closely acquainted with him would have been able to see the hint of amusement that played in the corners of his eyes and lips.

Lily dropped back down onto the flat of her feet, but kept her arms around his neck. To her amusement, James didn't let go of her either; apparently he was confident that her father wasn't going to murder him for having his hands on her.

'I just thought I would let you know that we're leaving for the church shortly; you should head off soon if you want to get there before us. And I can safely say that the bride will not be happy if you arrive at the church _after _her.' William raised his eyebrows at them knowingly and headed off towards the stairs.

'This is where magic comes in handy.' Lily stepped out of James' arms and over to the mirror, checking her dress and pulling on her shoes. She cast a glamour charm on her face and shook her hair out, letting it fall loosely over her shoulders. A quick flick of her wand added soft waves. 'And I'm good to go. I just want to wish Tuney luck before; meet you downstairs.'

James nodded and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her cheek. 'You look beautiful.' He left the room and headed downstairs, leaving Lily to gather her purse and shove a few essentials into it. She left her room with one last, slightly worried glance over her shoulder at her reflection in the mirror.

She knocked gently on her sister's door and waited for a moment before she pushed it open.

'Mum, I need…oh.' Petunia's eyes locked with Lily's in the mirror. Oddly enough she was alone for the moment, no bridesmaids fluttering around her. Lily briefly wondered where they'd got to, then forced herself to focus on the issue at hand.

'I just wanted to say…to wish you luck.' She managed. 'I hope it goes perfectly for you.'

Petunia turned from her mirror and swept her eyes over Lily's dress; she didn't say anything, and Lily felt her nerves jangle a little but she smiled uncertainly. 'You look lovely Tuney.'

It was true really. Her dress was a simple a-line of white silk, much less grand and showy than Lily would have expected, and her simple silver jewellery, finished in pearls, matched perfectly. Her hair was lightly curled around her face, and the gentle blonde coils softened the somewhat harsh angles of her face.

Lily stepped forward and gestured towards the necklace she was wearing, a simple but classic string of pearls. 'Gran's necklace?'

Petunia nodded slowly, and Lily smiled again. 'It suits you.'

Petunia noticeably stiffened and her face hardened a little. 'I'm glad you think so.'

'You don't?' asked Lily hesitantly, unsure about her sister's reaction. 'It looks lovely with your dress.'

'I think Gran's ring would have suited me better.' Petunia answered coldly, and Lily felt a faint stab of shock.

'I…I didn't know you wanted Gran's ring. I'm sure if Mum had known she would have offered it to Vernon…'

Petunia interrupted with a snort, the gesture seeming oddly harsher than usual now that she looked so softly feminine. 'She just never thought about it, never considered me. It wouldn't have mattered if she _had _known anyway. _You_ were Gran's favourite,_ you_ get Gran's ring. I'm just an afterthought who gets the leftovers.'

'Tuney, that's not true. Gran didn't have a favourite. She would have been so happy that you are wearing her necklace, and I'm sure she would have been thrilled for_ either_ of us to have her ring…'

'Shut up Lily!' The aggression in her tone made Lily stop in surprise, and her eyes widened as her sister moved towards her, eyes narrowed and cheeks flushed with anger.

'It wouldn't have mattered and you know it. You always get everything; you're the _interesting _one, the _special _one. The _pretty _one, the _clever _one, the one people fawn over. You're _everybody's _bloody favourite Lily, the one everyone pays attention to, and you have no_ idea_ what it's like to be outshone by your younger sister your entire life.'

'Tuney…' Lily trailed off, unable to think of anything to say when her heart felt like it was being squeezed in an unforgiving fist.

'And you waltz in here on my wedding day, when I don't even _want _you here, wearing _that_ dress and our Gran's ring – it's like you don't even have to try to ruin things for me, you just have to _exist_.'

The door opened and Rose came in, a happy smile on her face. 'I found this one Petunia…' She trailed off at the sight of her two daughters together. 'What are you doing in here Lily?'

'I, er, just wanted to wish Petunia luck.' Lily spoke in a quiet, subdued voice, but she managed to keep any hint of hurt from showing in it. 'I'll be off to the church now.'

She made it to the door before she spoke again. 'And you do look beautiful.'

She opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind her and sagging against the wall, clutching her heart.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Mr and Mrs Vernon Dursley!'

Petunia and Vernon came through the door to a chorus of cheers, and Lily clapped just as loudly as everyone else, trying to ignore the feeling of James' suspicious eyes on her; he knew something had happened between her and Petunia, but with surprising tact hadn't pushed her about it. She knew he'd wrangle it out of her eventually, but she really didn't want to give it any consideration until after she'd gotten through the wedding.

And Merlin, was getting through the wedding tougher than she'd imagined; she'd somehow managed to blank out how awful most of Vernon's relatives had seemed in her past experiences, and being confronted with so many of them in one place had been difficult. They'd sneered at her and James with such regularity that she was certain that Vernon had given them an edited version of the events of their ill-fated dinner.

What was even worse was that Lily and James had been seated with quite a few of them; her parents were obviously on the top table, along with Vernon's parents, his sister as Maid of Honour and his cousin as Best Man, but since Lily wasn't a part of the bridal party she was placed with extended family, and since the Dursley's vastly outnumbered the Evans family, she felt surrounded by them.

She wasn't in the mood to fend off their questions with convincing lies, but thankfully James was a consummate liar, and even if Vernon's vile family didn't believe the things he said, they couldn't call him a liar in the middle of a wedding reception. She'd spent most of the meal staring around; she had to admit, the wedding was exactly what she'd expected from Petunia. It was perfect, and it was dreary.

Pink flowers on the tables, pink and white napkins, white tablecloths, pink bows on the backs of the chairs. Pink bridesmaid dresses, pink buttonholes, pink roses in the bridal bouquet. It was a small girl's dream wedding, all the colours perfectly matched and utterly tasteful. Unobtrusive waiters served Caesar salad, roast beef and crème brulee.

It was…pedestrian. There was no element of personality in any of it; it was as if Petunia had opened a magazine called "The Perfect Inoffensive Wedding" and just ordered everything off the page. The service had been traditional, and nice in its way, but it had seemed hollow almost, done by rote. If she'd learned nothing else from today, it was that this was exactly what she _didn't _want.

A room full of distant relatives and business acquaintances she barely knew, a woman she didn't even like – she knew Petunia wasn't overly fond of Marge – as her Maid of Honour. Flowers, food, hymns and readings that were chosen because they were _expected_, they were _appropriate_.

She listened to the speeches, pretended to laugh at the jokes that weren't funny, clapped at the end of each though she felt like she'd barely heard them, actually smiled a little as her father's eyes welled up during his speech.

Then the formality was over, Petunia and Vernon stepped out for their first dance - Lily rolled her eyes as she heard the opening strains of "We've Only Just Begun", how shockingly predictable - and she felt as if she could relax a little. Once other people had begun to join them on the dance floor and the formality eased a little, she leaned back and felt James' ever-dependable arms move to support her as she leaned into his chest.

'What happened?' James deep voice whispered in her ear and she closed her eyes and recounted the conversation – if one could call it that – with Petunia. James listened to it all with a scowl, his hand rubbing her back lightly as she spoke.

'I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you don't want me to do anything about this?' He enquired, his tone making it clear that he was anything but happy about it.

'Let it go James.' Lily sighed. 'Merlin knows I wish I could. I don't know why I can't just accept that she wants nothing to do with me and cut her off, instead of lining myself up for one emotional beating after another.'

James brushed his lips gently across the back of her neck. 'Family ties are rarely that simple; just ask Sirius.'

Lily snorted a little. 'Yeah, Sirius understands this mess of mine better than anyone else, I think.'

James rose to his feet and held out a hand for hers. 'Well, I may not be able to properly empathise, but I can try and take your mind off it. Dance?'

She managed a smile for him. 'Sure, why not?'

He led her through the room, having to stop twice to allow various relatives to see Lily's ring, and finally out onto the dance floor where Lily did her best to avoid her sister's eye as James twirled her round gracefully to the strains of "At Last", another wonderfully lacklustre choice from Petunia.

'Are you being an obnoxiously good dancer deliberately?' asked Lily after a few moments, torn between smiling and swinging for him as he circled them around the dance floor like they were at a society ball; his skill was not going unnoticed, especially by some of her female relatives.

'Yep.' He answered as he swung her around. 'You might feel guilty about being Petunia's superior in every possible way, but I have no such qualms about being superior to Vernon; I'm going to outshine him in every possible way I can for the rest of his life, and watch his little piggy eyes narrow impotently as he's forced to see it.'

Lily couldn't help the giggle, but she did try and cover it with a cough before she attempted a stern tone of voice. 'That's rather cruel James.'

'Well, _they _are both cruel to _you_, and I'm pretty sure you won't let me have any vengeance on Petunia, so I'm forced to settle for taking it out on her lump of a husband.' James muttered, dipping her then swinging her out, his own eyes narrowing as he caught sight of Vernon glowering in their direction.

Resolutely deciding to ignore him and Petunia both, he turned his head back to face Lily, offering her a particularly charming smile. 'Have I mentioned how absolutely beautiful you look in that dress love?'

She gave him a look of extreme suspicion. 'What are you angling for Potter?'

'Can't a bloke admire his fiancée?' He asked innocently before casting a quick glance over his shoulder. 'Especially when he's viewing her in comparison to much less favourable specimens.'

This time she did slap him lightly. 'James Potter, you stop that right now.'

'Stop what?' He raised his eyebrows in apparent confusion, but Lily was much too familiar with him to be fooled into thinking he didn't know what she was talking about.

'Stop making mean insinuations about my sister.'

'How could you think such a thing of me?!' James answered in a tone of apparent shock. 'You _assumed_ I was talking about your sister, I might have been talking about anyone.'

'Oh yeah? Who were you talking about then?' Lily challenged, one eyebrow rising mockingly.

James smiled his most charming smile. 'I _was_ talking about your sister actually, but only because she's the only person here who actually looks like a bulldog sucking a wasp at the moment. Look.'

He dipped her back, taking her completely by surprise, and she caught an upside-down glimpse of Petunia's sour expression before she was safely returned to his arms, the right way up.

'Would you please stop winding her up, because she's already ticked off at me for _existing_, and the last thing I need is for her to decide that I'm upstaging her at her own wedding.'

James grinned at her as he circled them closer to her parents who were dancing off to one side, watching both their girls. 'Sweetheart, you did _that_ the second you walked into the church.'

He stopped them directly alongside her parents and aimed his most charming smile at them. 'Rose, William.'

'You're a lovely dancer James.' Rose answered admiringly, and James expanded his smile still further.

'Well, thank you very much Rose. Perhaps your husband would let me cut in and take you for a turn about the floor?'

'Be my guest.' Answered William gruffly, releasing his wife. 'Worst thing about weddings is the bloody dancing; even worse than this damn stupid pink tie.'

'William.' Rose scolded, but James cut in. 'Not to worry Rose, you and I can enjoy the opportunity anyway.' And before her parents could actually have a row, James was twirling Rose expertly across the dance floor, a cocky smile on his face as he led her directly past Petunia and Vernon.

'Well, that was smooth. Boy could give Fred Astaire lessons.' William muttered under his breath, and Lily threw a grin over her shoulder.

'Disgusting isn't it? He couldn't get any more slippery if you oiled him up.' She took her father's arm and squeezed affectionately. 'Want to check out the bar?'

William looked fondly at his younger daughter. 'There is definitely a reason that you are my favourite girl, you know that?'

The two of them walked over to the bar, arms linked affectionately, leaving James to his happy efforts to overshadow the bride and groom at their own wedding.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

It's so sad to see you boxing all this up.'

Lily jumped at the sound of her mother's voice coming from the doorway; she'd been engrossed in sorting through her childhood books, trying to decide which to take with her, whether to store the rest in the attic or throw them away. It _was _sad; she was officially putting her childhood to rest.

She gave a sad smile. 'I know mum. I feel the same.'

Rose entered the room and joined Lily on her bed, looking round at the stacks of books. She ran a hand over Lily's cherished copy of A Child's Garden of Verses and smiled.

'I remember your Gran giving you this. Third birthday I think.'

'Fourth.' Lily corrected. 'There's a dedication on the inside cover.'

Rose flipped the page open and smiled at the sight of her mother's handwriting, running her hand gently over the page. 'It's so strange; Tuney's gone and you will be soon. This house is going to be so quiet.'

Lily smiled. 'It's not like you aren't going to see us again. And look who I'm moving in with; chances are I'll be bothering you pretty regularly when that lot get too much.'

Rose managed a weak smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. 'I know. But both my baby girls are so grown up. It seems like only yesterday I watched you open this, and now you're moving out.'

Lily looked at her mother's face and saw real, genuine loss. She'd always thought Rose was being a little melodramatic about the whole thing, but she realised now that her mother was genuinely upset at what she saw as the loss of her daughters. It had only been a week since Petunia's wedding, but her mother's moping had definitely been getting progressively worse.

'Would you like to give me a hand getting organised at our new place? It'll give you a chance to have a good look at it, and I could use the help. James just got this panic-stricken look when I started talking to him about furniture and stuff.'

Rose laughed just a little. 'Yes well, in my experience, men generally aren't all that interested in such things. Somewhere I'm sure there are some lucky women who have husbands that enjoy interior decorating, but I'm not one of them and apparently you won't be either.'

Lily grinned back at her mother. 'Well, he may have gone pale and looked like I'd clocked him one, but on the other hand he did just tell me to buy whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it.'

Rose snorted. 'Coward's way out. Still, at least he can't complain about what you buy.'

'Come shopping with me on Monday.' Lily asked on impulse. 'Dorea gave me the addresses of some good furniture shops she knows of – though I'm assuming that "good" translates to "expensive" – and you can help me pick out what you think we'll need.'

Rose seemed momentarily startled, but then her face opened up into a real smile for the first time that day. 'I'd love to sweetie.'

She leaned over to kiss Lily's cheek, and then stood up quickly. 'I'm going to go and make some lunch, did you want some?'

'Uh, no thanks, not hungry.' Lily looked around the room at the mess she'd made. 'I'd better get moving on tidying this up as well.'

Rose stood and dusted down her blouse before a sudden thought seemed to strike her.

'I almost forgot the whole reason I came up here! You had an owl but it flew away as soon as it dropped off its letter.' Rose handed her a letter and gave her one last smile over her shoulder as she left the room.

Lily looked down at the dark brown envelope and popped it open. No letter fell out; instead a newspaper clipping slipped out onto her lap. She unfolded it carefully.

It was a clipping of the wedding announcement; the photo of her and James was nothing but a mass of creases, as if the page had been crumpled up in anger then smoothed out again. Her name and James' screamed at her from the page, underlined in red marker, and in red scrawl across the bottom of the page was a message; in block capitals, but she was sure she'd recognise that writing anywhere despite that.

**_You idiot. Can't you at least try and keep your head down? Call it off._**

With shaking hands, Lily located her wand, stuffed the clipping into her pocket and ran down the stairs, leaving her room scattered with the accumulated debris that a morning spent packing had created.

'I need to go out mum, see you later!' She swung the door shut behind her, pretending she couldn't hear her mother's concerned voice calling after her, and ran down the street towards the apparition point.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Have you always been this much of a pain in the arse Padfoot, or have I only started noticing it recently?' James demanded as he tried to pull his old Quidditch jersey out from underneath Sirius' prone body where he rested on James' bed. 'You are not helping!'

'Not trying to.' Said Sirius calmly, ignoring his best mate's struggles and continuing to unconcernedly read a muggle motorbike magazine. 'You know, I really am going to get one of these. A few minor magical adjustments could make it pretty awesome.'

With one final tug, James released the offending item of clothing from underneath Sirius and placed it in one of the assorted trunks scattered round the room. 'Does the phrase "Misuse of Muggle Artefacts" mean anything to you?'

'Not really, does the phrase "Register of Animagi" mean anything to you?' Sirius retorted, and James fought to stop the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

'Fine, just don't get caught.' He had a point after all; none of the Marauders was exactly a stranger to trouble. Frustrated with the whole thing, James turned around on the spot, taking in the catastrophe that was his bedroom and the sight of his best mate lounging across his pillows.

'We're moving in a few days. Don't you have packing to do?' He demanded as he noticed that Sirius was also helping himself to the stash of strawberry liquorice that he'd found in one of his bedside drawers when he was turning them out.

'Not really. It's not like I have a lot of stuff.' Sirius didn't sound bothered, but James felt a little bit of hurt on his behalf nonetheless. He hadn't been able to bring much with him when he'd run out of Grimmauld Place in the middle of the night, still bleeding from his mother's curses and heading straight for the only place he knew he would always be welcome, and Merlin knew his mother hadn't been inclined to allow him to come back to collect anything. Nor had his brother been willing to help him retrieve any of his belongings.

The Potter's had supplied him with clothes, food and a roof over his head, and that seemed to be all Sirius needed these days; the motorbike was the first thing James had heard him mention buying for himself for ages, other than the usual treats from Honeyduke's or Zonko's.

Still, Sirius would hate it if he thought for one second that James was feeling sorry for him - though James had always insisted that there was a difference between pitying someone and feeling bad for their situation – so he chose not to comment and instead carried on the conversation in his usual carefree tones.

'Why don't you go and help Marls then? She's a girl, she must have shed loads of stuff to pack. They always do.'

'That's an extremely sexist remark Potter.' Marlene's voice floated in through the open doorway, her tone amused rather than annoyed, and James turned to face her, her mouth curving up into a smile at the sight of his favourite, albeit extremely distant, cousin.

'Hello sugar. Could you take this away please? I believe it belongs to you.'

Marlene sauntered into the room, eyes sparkling. 'He was yours first. You deal with him.' She joined Sirius on the bed and plucked a piece of liquorice from the bag he was holding. He gave her a goofy smile and leaned over to kiss her, his hands reaching up to lace through her hair as he brushed his lips over hers and nibbled at her bottom lip.

'Oh no, don't you two start in here! There must be a dozen empty bedrooms in this place, go and find one!' James glowered at them both and pointed his finger directly at the door without looking away from them; he jumped when a fourth voice joined their conversation from the very doorway he was pointing at.

'So this is what you three do when you're home unsupervised. I'm rethinking this whole house-sharing thing.'

James' scowl lifted instantly, replaced by a cheerful smile. 'Lily!'

He crossed the room in a few steps and picked her up to spin her around. 'I missed you.' He mumbled the words into her hair and she laughed lightly.

'You saw me two days ago.' She reminded him as he dropped her feet back onto the floor.

'I know.' His response was muffled by the fact that he still had his face buried in her hair, but she smiled anyway.

'I have something important to show you.' She caught Sirius' eye as she stepped away from James and moved further into the room. 'You might be interested too Sirius.'

'Oh I'm very interested. Come and join us on the bed, my lovely redhead.' Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and got a smack in the arm from Marlene.

'Stop making everything into an innuendo.'

'I can't help it if your mind is in the gutter can I?' Sirius retorted. 'You are the one making everything I say out to be sexual.'

'Well it usually is with you!' Marlene protested, the slightest hint of pink staining her cheeks. Sirius was about the only person that could still raise a blush on Marlene McKinnon; both Lily and James had long ago decided not to speculate on why.

'Merlin, do you think we could leave the foreplay until later please?' Lily rolled her eyes as she took Sirius up on his offer and sat cross-legged on James' bed. She felt the mattress dip just behind her and then warmth of James' presence as he sat alongside her, his legs half-stretched out and his elbows resting on his knees.

'So what brings you to the ancestral house of the Potter's on this fine summer day, soon-to-be Mrs Prongs?' Sirius inclined his head flamboyantly, and Lily stared at him.

'Someone's in a good mood. What's boiled your potion?'

'He's buying a motorbike.' James said in tired tones. 'Apparently it'll be _awesome _once he's modified it appropriately.'

Sirius grinned proudly as Lily stared back and forth between the two of them for a moment, before finally shaking her head.

'I gave up on knocking any sense into any of you ages ago, so go ahead Sirius, but you needn't think I'm patching you up whenever you crash.'

He clapped a hand over his heart. 'I'm hurt.'

'Yeah, yeah, shut up and look at this.' Lily pulled the newspaper clipping of the engagement announcement out of her pocket and held it out in front of her, but James snagged it before Sirius could.

He frowned at the scrawl on the page before he passed it over to his best mate; Marlene scooted round to peer over his shoulder.

'I wouldn't worry about anonymous messages love.' James wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders.

'Normally I wouldn't.' Lily answered, a little morosely. 'But I'm pretty sure I know who sent it.'

'Who?' Asked Sirius, still studying the paper.

'Snape.'

All four of them were quiet for the moment, then James spoke in a low, dangerous voice.

'Why do you think it's from Snape Lily?'

She hesitated, then began to speak quickly, aware that James might not be pleased with everything she had to say. 'Well, I'm fairly sure that's his writing; it's a little hard to tell from just capitals, but I saw him write enough over the years to spot his handwriting. And…it just sounds like him. I can imagine him saying exactly that. And…and it sounds almost…concerned? It doesn't feel like a threat, it feels like a warning in a friendly sense. "Keep your head down" doesn't feel like it's meant to be intimidating.'

'So you have got the insane idea that Severus Snape, the same Severus Snape who kidnapped you, _hit _you, took your wand, duelled you and has now more than likely joined a terrorist organisation hell-bent on exterminating you , has chosen to send you a friendly warning via owl post?'

Lily winced at James' tone; she knew he wouldn't take this well.

'Well I wouldn't have phrased it exactly like that.' She reached tentatively out to touch the back of his hand. 'But yeah, I think he still believes that he could 'help me' if he could just get me away from you. He seems to honestly believe that, even with everything that's going on, _you're _the thing that's going to get me killed; he's said it more than once. It's likely that he'd think that marrying you puts me in danger, as if I'm not in danger just for _existing_.'

'Hmph.' James folded his arms grumpily, but seemed slightly mollified by her explanation; she knew he wasn't really annoyed with _her_, he was just worried that she would be setting herself up for emotional fallout of epic proportions if she let herself build up hope that Snape might be regretting his choices. She turned back to Sirius.

'The thing is, I was thinking that if it _was _Snape who sent this, then he's obviously okay…and maybe that means Regulus is okay too? It's quite likely they're together right?'

'Maybe.' Murmured Marlene with a concerned look towards Sirius who was examining the newspaper clipping closely, more to avoid looking at any of them than out of genuine interest Lily thought.

'Doesn't matter.' Sirius spoke suddenly, dropping the clipping onto the bed sheets. 'I'm not going to waste time thinking about it, or hoping that my brother is going to come to his senses; you shouldn't waste any more time or tears on Snape either Lils. If either of them_ do_ decide they want out of whatever mess they've gotten into, well great, but I'm not going to torment myself about whether it's going to happen or not.'

'I have to agree.' James spoke gently, and Lily knew any anger he'd felt at her had evaporated. 'If at some point in the future things change, we'll deal with it then, but for now there's no point in dwelling on any of this.' He gave her a sad smile. 'Unless you want to call the wedding off of course.'

She twisted around to face him, her hand flying up to touch his face. 'No! Of course not, that _never _crossed my mind.'

She sank both hands into the fabric of his shirt, using the fistfuls of material to pull him closer. 'I'm marrying you, no matter what anybody else has to say about it.'

His lips brushed lightly over hers, and she smiled into the kiss as she felt his hand land in her hair and tangle with the red locks as he held her face to his, his teeth nipping insistently at her bottom lip.

Then a pillow hit her in the side of the face.

They broke the kiss and looked up to see Sirius grin at them. 'Yep, still here.'

'Unfortunately.' James muttered. 'Why don't you two go and look for that empty bedroom?'

Marlene laughed lightly. 'You're such a grump. I think you need to get out of the house. Let's_ go_ somewhere.'

'Like where?' James asked, his arms wrapping around Lily' waist, and she smiled as she thought of the movie poster she'd seen on the side of a bus shelter as she'd raced towards the apparition point just half an hour ago.

'How do you feel about a muggle outing?'

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

'Explain this to me again.' James whispered as the four of them crossed the street and approached the building Lily had called a cinema. Throngs of other people crowded the streets around them, many heading in the same direction they were, which had surprised James; the wizard community was small, and that made even the largest gatherings quite small by comparison to this number of people. Lily had calmly explained that it was Saturday night, and in the muggle world lots of people went out on Saturday nights to the cinema or a restaurant or pub, many of which happened to be located in the same part of town.

When he continued to look blank, she'd simply told him that this part of Cokeworth was like a muggle version of Diagon Alley, only for entertainment instead of shops. Unfortunately this had led to some rather over-excited plans from James and Sirius to establish something similar in the wizarding world, plans which were only halted by Marlene's pointed insults about their organisational ability.

She sent him an exasperated look. 'Did you pay _any _attention in Muggle Studies?'

'No.' Answered James, completely unconcerned. 'And I still got an E, which should tell you everything you need to know about that stupid class.'

'Okay. Muggles go to the cinema to watch movies, which are like a story being acted out. Like the TV at my house, but on a much bigger screen. You pay to go in, and then you sit in a big room with everyone else who wants to see the same film as you, and you watch it together.'

She paused and waited for James' response, knowing that there would be further questions. 'Right. But if you have TVs at home, why do you all go to a special building to watch them? And with a load of people you don't know?'

Lily sighed, her mind reeling at the idea of attempting to explain movie production and distribution. 'Only the cinemas are allowed to show these movies. They're different to the stuff on TV, okay?'

'Got it.' He sounded a little uncertain still, but at least he'd stopped asking questions.

They entered the building and the three pure-bloods looked around with interest, observing the crowds of people moving around in the lobby which was full of light and laughter. Lily gave the matter a moment's consideration, then decided the safest thing to do was get the tickets herself.

'Wait here, I'll pay for us and be right back.' She wandered off to join a line of people, leaving James, Sirius and Marlene to watch curiously as people were ushered in various directions by uniformed staff, ostensibly depending on what was printed on their ticket.

When she returned, she was triumphantly waving four of the little slips of paper the cinema used as tickets, and she handed one to each of them.

'Animal House?' James read the words printed in bold on his slip and looked at Lily questioningly.

'It's the name of the film. Animal House. Trust me, it should be _perfect_ for you two.' She indicated James and Sirius with a wave of her hand.

She took James by the hand and led him towards an usher, waving her ticket at him and gesturing for her friends to do the same; the young girl checked their tickets then led them down the corridor into the correct screen, where she directed them to their seats.

The room was about half-full, and the four of them sat down and waited for the film to begin. Lily watched with amusement as the other three began to prod at their surroundings, looking round and obviously trying to understand what was happening. She suppressed a smirk, finding herself amused by the situation; it was like being at Hogwarts in reverse, and for once, it was nice to be the person who understood what was going on, to be the one in the know while _they_ struggled to catch up.

The lights went down, and the three of them went quiet; all three jumped when the screen lit up and the music started. She knew they'd all seen TV's before, but the cinema was a different thing entirely – it might even be interesting enough to keep James and Sirius sitting still for an hour and a half, a feat at the best of times.

Two hours later the four of them left the cinema, still giggling, and made their way back towards the alley they'd apparated into earlier.

'That was awesome!' Sirius' eyes were wide. 'Who knew you could cause that much trouble without using magic? Prongs, we should have seen that years ago, now we'll never get the chance to try some of that stuff.'

'It's a new film Sirius.' Lily rolled her eyes. 'And I for one am glad you didn't have it as a source of ideas while I was a prefect. I suspect Remus would agree with me.'

'Probably.' Replied Sirius thoughtfully. 'Hey, we could come and see it again tomorrow, bring Moony and Pete along!'

Marlene groaned. 'You four can go on your own then; I'm not spending two hours with you lot when you're in Marauder mode.'

'Same here.' Said Lily firmly.

'But you're the only one who knows how the whole ticket thing works. And you understand muggle money.' Sirius pouted. 'Maybe Remus will know.'

'You really want to watch the whole thing again tomorrow Padfoot?' James asked. 'You don't want to at least give it a week?'

The four of them bickered and bantered their way along the street, eventually disappearing into the alleyway they'd arrived in; they were so caught up in their joking conversation, and each other, that none of them noticed a pair of black eyes watching them from a darkened shop doorway.

**_(J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L) (J&L)_**

**A/N: So a bit lighter than the last couple, I was sick of the doom and gloom. Let me know what you think, and as always there's a link to my Tumblr on my profile, so come say hi if you feel like it! **


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